


INEVITABLE

by TheCurvedWritingDesk



Category: Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: Destiny, F/M, Free Will, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCurvedWritingDesk/pseuds/TheCurvedWritingDesk
Summary: What's more powerful? The mind? Or the Heart?In a world where DNA determines your fate what role does free will play?
Relationships: Tora/Poppy Wilkes
Comments: 188
Kudos: 152





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GeekGoddess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekGoddess/gifts).



> So I read 'The One' by John Marrs a while ago and just started getting into Luff on webtoon and I thought the concepts presented were actually really fascinating and wondered how our two fav characters would do in a world like that. Anywho, this is a short three chapter fic, it's done, I'll post them daily. 
> 
> This is a gift for GeekGoddess based on her request for me to write something based on the song Stay by Rihanna and Mikky Ekko (Will be the song for chapter three) Hope you like it!
> 
> Song:  
> Let Me Let You Go by Mega (this song gives me so many damn feels.)
> 
> As always, I bow down to Lilydusk for creating the amazing characters and universe I love playing with. All creative rights are hers. Also, Match Your DNA and the outline of the society presented here are John Marrs' creation not mine. Check out his book if you're interest!

Staring at the screen, Poppy’s eyes flew over the words on display for the third time in mild disbelief. At twenty one, she’d felt like she’d been waiting for this email for eternity. In reality, it’d only been five years. She’d signed up hopefully at sixteen, as soon as the law would permit, thrilled by the idea of finding her soulmate, her twin flame, her other half. She could almost feel the cotton swab in her mouth again before she’d shipped off her DNA to a company that promised everlasting, intense love.

Then she’d waited, days at first, then weeks, then months. After six months, she’d called the company, asking if they’d received her sample. The woman on the other side of the line had placated her, saying that her match might be younger than her and to be patient as teens often had longer to wait than adults. Perhaps her match just hadn’t reached the legal age of permission yet?

She had been assuaged by this explanation for roughly a year. Then, as time went on and her friends were all matched, she began to sink into the cold arms of disappointment, fearing she might be among the unfortunate few that would remain…unmatched. That’s when Julri had come along with pretty words of traditional love, seemingly offering her his heart on a platter, explaining that he didn’t believe in matches, in _the one_ , that love was a choice, not a predetermined genetic condition. She couldn’t say yes fast enough.

They’d been happy at first, at least that’s what Poppy liked to tell herself, but there was something that was never quite right with Julri. She was never truly…comfortable around him, as though he were hiding parts of himself from her, and whenever she grew suspicious, he belittled her, making her question _her_ commitment to their _traditional_ love, a love of _choice_ , a choice riddled with self-doubt. She wasn’t sure why it was so wrong, but even holding his hand felt erroneous. Like they were trying to force a square peg through a circular hole, they just didn’t fit together.

When she’d walked in on Julri with Mimi, she couldn’t really say it’d been a complete surprise. Finding out that Mimi was his _match_ though, that had just been depressing. After all, how could she compete with that? Not that she wanted to. Most of her didn’t even blame Julri, she was happy he’d found his other half. She just wished he’d broken up with her first instead of disrespecting her like that. Confusing her like that. _Lying_ to her like that.

Biting her lip to the point of drawing blood, she let her eyes flit over the screen for a fourth time. _You’ve been matched! Please click the button below for further match details!_ Her finger hovered over her phone’s touch screen in indecision. She’d wanted this for so long but now that it was here she was reluctant to admit she was terrified. Was this what she really wanted? To put her heart on the line again? Julri wasn’t her match, in fact she wasn’t even sure if she’d felt anything for him other than slight attraction and friendship. Yet, the pain his betrayal had inflicted had cut her deep, leaving a nasty scar on both her heart and her self-esteem.

This was her match! The person she’d been born to be with, the person that had been crafted genetically to be her other half! She’d read stories, about what it was like, about the deep connection, the intense, passionate, fiery love. She’d also read the horror stories, the ones of people who had met their match only to be informed they had terminal cancer, or that their match died in a tragic accident, or when they…Poppy shook her head, trying to clear it. No matter the situation, she knew her match had the power to destroy her, to kill her with grief and overwhelming loneliness if something happened to them. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that; then again, the thought of being alone and never knowing a love like that frightened her just as much. The tang of blood on her tongue surprised her enough that her thumb slipped, pressing down on the button.

~ ~ ~

Ignoring the vibration coming from his pocket, Tora tapped his thumb against his steering wheel as he eyed the exit of the strip club. Trailing Scharch was not his idea of a good time. Vince was convinced the man was sleeping with his mistress though and wanted Tora to catch both of them in the act. The way Vince had emphasized the word ‘catch’ had left Tora with no doubt as to what Vince wished him to do if his suspicions proved to be true. Sighing, he glanced down at his passenger seat, picturing the glock he had strapped beneath the chair before returning his gaze to the door as a pretty blonde woman approached it from the shadow hiding the far side of the building. “Don’t do it,” he whispered to no one, “just turn around and go home,” he insisted, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel as he gripped it.

Tora watched in disappointed annoyance as Scharch pushed open the door and beckoned in the bonde, “oh for fuck’s sakes!” he hissed to the empty car, reaching beneath his passenger seat for his weapon. Unfolding himself from the car, Tora slammed his door shut before stalking towards the backdoor of the bar, continuing to ignore the rather insistent buzzing now coming from his pocket. Pushing open the door he stomped his way past the bouncers and made his way up the flight of stairs leading to Scharch’s office. Without bothering to knock, Tora kicked open the door and slammed it behind himself, glaring at the couple fondling either on the loveseat opposite him. “Are you that a slave to ya cock or just plain stupid?” he spat angrily at both the man and the woman who were staring at him in horror. “Of all the women ya could screw, ya gotta pick _her_?” Tora barked, his eyes trained on Scharch as the woman hastily tried to right her dishevelled clothing.

Scharch stared at him wide eyed, his gazed filled with panic, “you don’t understand Tora, she’s, she’s…she’s my match!” he cried in desperation. “We tried to fight it at first but, we couldn’t. We knew Vince would kill us…but,” he trailed off, the blonde who’s name Tora had never bothered to learn taking over for him.

“I love him! I _belong_ with Scharch, I’d rather die than go back to Vince!” She screamed passionately.

Tora furrowed his brow in frustration, “well congrats on having ya wish come true,” he murmured, slipping the gun from his waistband. He turned his glare onto Scharch, “I’m supposed to kill you just for breaking protocol if what you’re telling me is the truth. You know we’re not allowed to register,” he spat coldly.

Scharch blanched, “Tora, Tora wait! Please!” he pleaded, “we’ll disappear! Forever, never come back, it’ll be like we’re dead; you don’t need to do this, please! Please don’t hurt her!”

Lowering his gun, Tora hesitated, taking in the pathetic desperation on the faces of his victims. “Why the fuck should I? If Vince finds out I allowed that he’d have a target on my back too,” he replied calmly.

Nibbling his bottom lip Scharch thought on his feet, “because you don’t really want to kill us, if you did we’d already be dead! In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never hesitated,” he communicated calmly, forcing the trembling from his tone, “you pity us.” 

“Please, just let us be happy,” the woman begged, silent tears rolling down her face.

~ ~ ~

“Tora, male, 26, 6’3”, Narin City,” Poppy read aloud to herself as she sat cross legged on her bed staring down at her phone. She absentmindedly licked her wounded lip, the sting making her cringe. _Twenty six_ , her brain screamed angrily. Five years her senior and he’d waited till now to send in his DNA? She wanted to scream in frustration. They could have been matched the day she’d turned sixteen! Sighing, she navigated her way through the payment process in order to receive his contact info; she wasn’t wasting another minute, let alone another five years. If she was opening herself up to a world of pain, so be it. This man had been made for her. It was about time she met her other half. Have him show her what love was; for him, for her, for them. _Don’t ever let me let you go Tora,_ she thought, annoyed with her momentary feelings of doubt. She smiled, knowing she would finally have a hand to hold again, the right fit this time, the part of her that’d been missing.

~ ~ ~

Quincey relaxed back into his Jacuzzi tub, enjoying the way the hot water and jets soothed his muscles. Humming to himself he carefully brought his martini to his lips, the liquid narrowly avoiding the face mask he’d draped over his handsome visage. Shuttering at the unexpected sound of his phone vibrating on the edge of the tub, Quincey scowled, vodka seeping into the mask at the side of his mouth. The bottom of his martini glass hit the side of the tub with a clatter as he reached for the offensive device. “I can’t even have five minutes to myself,” he muttered in annoyance, before his eyes widened in surprise, his back suddenly ramrod straight, his mask slipping off his face and into the bath water. “Well I’ll be damned,” he murmured, “she does exist.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2 enjoy! Let me know what you think, I love reading your thoughts ♥
> 
> Song:  
> River by Leon Bridges

He was fucked, monumentally fucked. If Vince ever found out Scharch and his lover were alive he was as good as dead. He’d driven them to the greyhound station himself, telling them if they really wanted to live they couldn’t take a god damn thing with them and to never contact anyone again. He’d taken their cellphones as insurance. If Scharch fucked him he was taking both of them down with him. Fuck their happiness. Disgusted with himself, he powered both their phones off and stuffed them in his glove box. Leaning his head back against the headrest he squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the longing in his own chest. Love. Happiness. He could have it all at the swipe of a cotton ball, but at what cost?

Relaxing his fists, he reached for his cigarettes, lighting one as he took a deep drag. He exhaled slowly, chuckling to himself. Comfort, peace. That’s what matched couples talked about finding. _Feeling_ with one another. Immediate stability, like all was suddenly right with the world. Total completion. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, his leg bouncing in distress. Scharch was right; he didn’t really want to kill either of them. He wanted to _interrogate_ them, figure out if it was true. If you could really know just from a look, a single instant that you’d met the other half of your soul. What it was like not to feel empty. To feel that kind of euphoria? He rolled his shoulders uncomfortably, trying to dislodge the desire, the temptation, to find out for himself. The curiosity he’d been fighting since he was a boy.

Being denied and deprived of love just made him desperate for it, to know it, to feel it, to hold it in his hands and name it. He shook his head, clearing the fog in his mind. It would never happen for him, he needed to stop fantasizing and wake up and smell the coffee. Drink in his reality and get his head out of the clouds. He’d read the stories, the physical pain people felt when their matches rejected them for one reason or another. It’d happened a lot in the beginning. People who already had families, traditional, developed love, people who’d chosen to hold onto their chosen mates instead of discarding them for their fated ones, leaving their other half to wither without them. He smirked, wondering how many were like him. How many people had taken one look at their fated mate and thought, _nope_ for whatever reason? Either to protect what they had or…maybe…to protect their mate from themselves?

He snorted at his own stupidity, if he really felt that kind of way about someone he’d run; get as far the fuck _away_ as he could in the other direction. It was best not to know. Yup. He didn’t want to know. Changing mental lanes, he reached for his phone, finally acknowledging the machine that’d been buzzing for his attention all night.

 _YMQuincey:_ _So I did a thing._ (7:10pm)

 _YMQuincey: Don’t you want to know what I did?_ (7:17pm)

 _YMQuincey: I’m sensing some distance between us. Probably has something to do with you IGNORING me._ (8:43pm)

 _YMQuincey: K. Well I’m dying to tell you but not over text. Please come see me whenever you’re done whatever you’ve decided is more important than moi. Don’t care what time, just come over. It can be three am for all I care._ (9:04pm)

 _YMQuincey: I really thought I would have heard from you by now. You okay Booboo?_ (10:10pm)

 _YMQuincey: Seriously honey this is not one of my drama emergencies, this is about you._ (10:52pm)

 _YMQuincey: I’m this close to booking us couples therapy, this cold shoulder you give me sometimes ain’t it honey._ (11:01pm)

Tora rolled his eyes and texted him back.

 _BBTora: i think we need to talk about you givin’ me some god damn space princess. we’ve been over this. ya ain’t my match._ (11:05pm)

 _YMQuincey: Oh ya, that joke is just as funny as the first fifty times you made it. Also, yes, yes, you can have all the space you want after tonight. Just get over here._ (11:05pm)

 _BBTora: coming._ (11:06pm)

Tossing his phone in his cup holder, Tora put his car in drive and pulled out of the greyhound lot. It was late, he was emotionally drained and he needed some shut eye, the Princess’ emergency had better be worth it.

~ ~ ~

Nausea rolled through her stomach as Poppy scrolled up and down the blank page she’d reloaded for the eighth time. What the hell was this! She’d paid for his details and there weren’t any? How was that possible? She glared at her screen.

Phone number: I’ll contact you.

Email: I’ll contact you.

Social media handle: I’ll contact you.

Place of employment: Seriously. I’ll contact you.

Was this just a bad joke? Was Julri paying an IT guy to screw with her? Just trying to add insult to injury? She’d never heard of this before. Match Your DNA had been around for almost twenty years and she’d never read anything like this before. Sure, some people didn’t give out all their information but at the very least an email right? Tossing her phone to the side, Poppy slipped off her kitchen counter and made her way towards her bed, grabbing her tea off her stove as she went.

Sliding the covers back, she crawled onto the mattress in her underwear, tank top and long cardigan, curling her legs under her and sipped her tea as she sniffled. It wasn’t fair. What if he wasn’t real? What if he never contacted her? What if she wound up like her father? Forever unmatched? Tears welling, she fought off thoughts of him. He’d died surrounded by family that loved him. So what if he hadn’t found his DNA match? So what if her mother had abandoned them for hers? Her Granny and Gramps had been together almost fifty years before his death and _they_ hadn’t been a DNA match. She had freewill; she could love anyone she wanted. Who gave a shit if ‘Tora’ ever reached out to her or not?

Taking another sip of her tea, she pulled the material of her cardigan over her thumb and wiped at her tears. No matter how badly she wanted to know him, she was a complete person on her own. She didn’t need her match. She was perfectly capable of making it through life on her own just fine thank you very much. Her father and Granny were role model enough for that. Both had carved out happiness for themselves once their partner had departed. Sniffling, she smiled softly, enjoying the soft fat snowflakes falling outside her window as she gazed out at the twinkling lights of the city. She wasn’t quite sure she was buying her own thoughts, but like the view before her, it was a pretty perspective even if it left her feeling cold.

~ ~ ~

“You did what?!” Tora bellowed, stomping towards his closest friend, not sure if he was going to strangle him or punch him once he got his hands on him.

Quincey circled the couch to get away from him, his hand waving limply on his wrist, an uncertain smile on his face, “now, now, calm down Tora!” he advised, scurrying to the opposite side of the couch whenever the dark man got too close, “I did it to _all of them_ , not just you! But yeah, it was mostly done with you in mind!”

In that moment, Tora vaulted the couch, causing Quincey to raise his hands in front of him, his knee raising across his body in a futile attempt to protect himself, “not the face!” he shrieked, “I did it out of love!”

The darker man froze, staring at his adopted brother in silence, “Quinceton, he’ll kill me. Why would you do that to me?” he murmured, the betrayal reflecting in his eyes almost too much for the blonde man to take.

Shaking his head to dispel the emotion welling inside him, Quincey frowned, “you don’t understand Tora. I did it to _everyone_. So that Dad won’t be able to _do_ anything. I’ve been collecting DNA samples for the last two years. _Every_ Balthuman has their DNA in the match system now. He can’t kill all of you. You all deserve happiness,” he clenched his fists, his fury with his father’s archaic rules growing with each word, “You deserve your match, love, laughter, happiness! He’s taken so much from you! Don’t let him have that too!” He cried passionately.

Cradling his head in his hands Tora collapsed onto the couch behind him, elbows on his knees and he mulled over what he’d just been told. “You’re a selfish asshole Quincey,” he muttered, finally looking up at his well-meaning but short-sighted brother. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The fall out you’re going to cause?”

Trembling slightly, Quincey’s lower lip quivered, “what do you mean?” he whined.

Tora closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch as he let his hands rest limply in his lap. “I know ya meant well but the rule is there for a reason Quince, loyalty shifts when people meet their matches. Mistakes get made, lives get destroyed,” opening his eyes, he pinned the blonde man with an empty gaze, “I’m a dangerous man. I’m a targeted man. Being associated with me is deadly. What do you think meeting my match’ll do to my mental health? Am I supposed to walk away for their sake and break both our hearts? Or just put them in danger selfishly? That’s an impossible decision I was happy to never have to make.”

A tear leaked from the corner of Quincey’s eye, “Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” he whispered.

The right side of Tora’s mouth curved up slightly at the other man’s words, “Love is knowing that your feet carry you to a painful place, and still go anyway,” he quoted back.

Balling his fists, Quincey glared at Tora, “I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything,” he snapped back, if Tora wanted to play quotes back and forth he was all for it.

Snorting, Tora quoted back, “Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime.”

Desperate to reach him, Quincey resorted to quoting one of his favourite films, “without pain, without sacrifice, we would have _nothing_!”

Tensing, Tora climbed to his feet, “Don’t forget the guy in fight club was straight up unhinged,” he pointed out, making his way towards the door, “forward me her contact info, I’ll decide what I want to do about her,” he muttered dispassionately, “if you take away my freewill in this and reach out to her behind my back I don’t think I’ll ever forgive ya Quince. You’ve done a lot of fucked up shit since we were kids but this trumps all of that. I don’t want to see you for a while okay. Don’t call me; I’ll contact you when I’m ready,” he warned before disappearing out the door.

Once back in his car, Tora sat stone still for a moment before throwing three quick jabs into the roof. Fuck him. Fuck him straight to hell. Resisting had been hard enough when his match had been nothing more than an idea. Now that she existed, was a tangible person, all he wanted to do was run _to_ her. He wanted to **_know_**. So. _Damn_. **_Bad_**.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I have two storylines plotted out based on your answer to the final question. I'm only gonna write one of them. So please let me know what you think, your opinion on the final line might decide the end of this story. As always, enjoy! ♥
> 
> Song:  
> Stay by Rihanna and Mikky Ekko

Fighting the chilly wind, Poppy pulled the collar of her coat tighter around herself. It was beautiful in the park, the Christmas lights on the trees drew a soft smile across her frozen face. She knew it probably wasn’t the best decision to wander around the city park at night on her own given it was only a few blocks from Ares street, but there were plenty of people around and she couldn’t help it. She was restless, it’d been a week since she’d been matched and she still hadn’t heard from him, from ‘Tora’. She’d googled him the previous day in a last ditch hail Mary before truly giving up, looking for _anyone_ named Tora. No dice. If he did have social media it wasn’t public. Her imagination had been running wild, wondering just what a man named after such a ferocious animal would look like, _act_ like. She giggled to herself, picturing a tall skinny man with glasses and fiery auburn hair who worked in IT. A real go getter in the technological world. _A real, Tiger_ she thought sarcastically.

The sound of her laugh carried through the air as she wandered past the outdoor skating rink, drawing the attention of a few boys as they glided by parallel to her, looking around for the source of her amusement. She grinned to herself, turning her face skyward, enjoying the moment as she finally felt herself let go. It’d taken a few days but in that moment, she felt at peace, like a presence had finally arrived she’d longed for, a peaceful comfort. Finally accepting and embracing the advice she’d been trying to give herself for days she smiled. She would carve out her own happiness with or without her match. She wouldn’t wait around for him, if Tora didn’t want her, didn’t care to look for her; she’d find someone who did. She felt silly for pinning all her hopes and dreams on a dating service anyways. Her Granny and millions of others had found and made love work organically before Match Your DNA; so would she.

Tora flipped up his hoodie and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he rounded the bend in the walkway towards the skating rink. He felt restless; the email Quincey had forwarded him burning a hole in his pocket. He hadn’t looked at it. He didn’t want to know her name, didn’t want to have her phone number. It was a temptation he didn’t need; a distraction he knew would only lead to pain. He was a glutton for misery but he really _didn’t_ want company. Expelling a deep breath, he squeezed his eyes closed; wishing he’d left his phone at home. His fingers curled around the cold device as he forced himself to walk a little faster, prompting himself to let go. He’d decided when he got home tonight he was going to delete the email. Erase his only ability to contact her.

Yet…he hadn’t gone home after running errands. No, he’d just driven in circles until he’d grown so restless from sitting he’d needed to walk. So here he was, walking around the park in the middle of winter in a goddamn hoodie like a moron, warring with himself. “Just ‘cause ya can do something, doesn’t mean ya should,” he reminded himself, repeating the words Joe had recited to him time and time again when he’d been a younger man. Walking away was the best thing he could possibly do for this woman. Who in their right mind would pick him? That was the problem though wasn’t it? Meeting your match made you go insane. There was no logic when it came to love. Well, at least that what he’d been told. He scowled, admitting to himself it had to be true after Scharch’s display of stupidity the other night.

The tinkling sound of an angel forced his eyes open and he stopped in his tracks, staring at the young woman in front of him with her face tilted towards the sky, the most peaceful expression he’d ever seen on her soft face. His heart stuttered in his chest as he watched her inhale the cold night air deeply, her chest rising and falling gently as snowflakes melted on her rosy cheeks and button nose. Her arms wrapping around herself as she squeezed her shoulders together, the small public act of self-love tugging a smile at the corners of his lips. The sight of her tranquility calmed his own feelings of distress, like a warm presence soothing him. He continued to stare, heedless of the odd gazes skaters were giving him as the snow tumbled around him and his angel.

Sighing one last time, Poppy dropped her arms to her sides and slid them into her pockets, snuggling her chin a little deeper into her scarf. Opening her eyes, she took a step forward smiling at the tall man walking towards her, “nice night eh?” she greeted in passing as she brushed by him, her heart feeling full.

Tora turned his head to stare at her retreating figure, “yeah,” he breathed, his sneakers slipping on the black ice beneath his foot as he tumbled backwards, his tailbone hitting the walkway with a heavy thud.

Poppy glanced over her shoulder at the sound, her eyes widening in surprise as she quickly turned to help the man to his feet, “Oh my god, are you okay?” she beseeched, moving around to the front of him, reaching down towards him with an outstretched hand. She tilted her head to the side, trying to get a peek at the face hidden in the shadow of his hood, imagining he must be a little embarrassed.

Tora nodded, taking the outstretched gloved hand as he pushed himself to his feet, “yeah sweetheart, I’m fine,” _ya just got me dazed as a fuckin’ school boy,_ he added in his head, pushing back his hood with his free hand so he could look down at her without the material in his eyes.

Simmering honeyed gold met warm chocolate brown in a moment that defied time, their heartbeats syncing as one as they gazed at each other, the snow swirling around them. “I’m Poppy,” she whispered, recovering first, startled by her strong reaction to the man in front of her, eclipsing her hand in his, the warmth of his palm seeping into the material of her glove, heating her chilly fingers.

“Tora,” he breathed in response, unsure what the hell was happening to him as he continued to stare at her, his heart racing. Poppy’s eyes widened in surprise, something akin to panic taking over her features as she attempted to tug her hand back out of his grasp. Tora felt disappointment the moment he released her, wanting to hold onto the connection.

Poppy’s mouth moved in silence for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to her match, not sure if she wanted to slap him or pull him down to her for a hug. She was both furious at him and elated, just looking at him made her feel like she’d come home. His gaze reminded her of hot cocoa in front of a roaring fireplace, the flames flickering at the rims of his irises. “Do you feel it?” she murmured unconsciously, desperate to know for certain if this was really Tora… _her_ Tora. If _this_ was the intense sudden connection she’d read about but never experienced. Love at first sight. A fire sparking to life.

Taking a step back, Tora inhaled sharply, unsteadied by her question, “feel what?” he murmured defensively, fighting the overwhelming feeling filling his chest cavity, threating to spill over into his limbs and pull the woman close to him, against him, of their own accord.

Disappointment was palpable, radiating off her in waves, “oh,” she mumbled dejectedly, he was an attractive man, she thought dismally as her eyes studied his handsome chiselled face, “sorry, my mistake,” she finished, stuffing her hands back into her pockets. She frowned as she stared down at her toes, forcing herself to hold her tears at bay. She’d gotten herself so worked up this week, maybe she’d reacted to the name and not the man? Maybe she just wanted this so bad she’d tried to force it?

Manipulating her lips into what she hoped was a smile she looked back up at the man who had made her feel more in a split second than Julri had in years. “Nice to meet you, glad you’re okay, have a nice night,” she forced as cheerily as she could. When he just continued to frown at her, she added teasingly, “be careful eh? It’s slippery,” already walking away from him.

Tora stood in the middle of the walkway, watching her meander away from him, her shoulders slumped, her head hanging low, his heart shattering in his chest at the despair he read on her. The desolation he was feeling as the warm sensation trickled out of him, flowing away with her through whatever invisible cord was tethering them together, was awful. What the fuck was this? “Oi!” he called after her.

Turning her head over her shoulder, Poppy dislodged wayward snowflakes from her hair as she glanced back at the man that’d rocked her world with a look. “I’m gonna need ya to, uh, stay…” he muttered stupidly, not quite sure what the fuck he thought he was doing.

Arching a brow at him, Poppy turned fully to face him, “sorry?” she inquired, not quite picking up on what he’d said as the wind had picked up around them, carrying his words away.

Clearing his throat, Tora reached out his hand to her, “I- I feel it too,” he spoke up, feeling guilty for misleading her. “Stay,” he pleaded.

Staring down at his hand Poppy took a tentative step towards him, “why?”

“Because I’m not really sure how to feel about it, but something about the way you move makes me feel like I can’t live without you, I want you to stay,” he told her boldly.

Taking off her glove, Poppy stretched out her bare palm to him, “meet me halfway,” she pleaded. “This isn’t just something you take, it’s given,” she warned, “show me,” she begged.

Moving swiftly towards her, Tora laced their fingers together and wrapped his other arm around her back, needing to be sure, needing to know if she was really _his_ match. He didn’t hesitate as he pressed his lips against hers purposefully, kissing her deeply, all the empty places, all the holes inside him filling up with undeniable love for the small woman in his arms.

Poppy mewled against her match’s demanding lips, giving his tongue access to the recesses of her mouth, throwing her arms around his neck, daring him to get closer. Giving him all she had to give, oblivious to the gawking people around them. She knew there was a reason she’d held on for so long, caving under the weight of never meeting this man, never feeling, _this,_ this fever. Tora groaned as he pulled the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted tighter to him, desperate to envelop all of her.

Reluctantly, Poppy pushed him away, her need for air trumping her desire to have him suffocate her. He grunted in response, dipping his head, trying to recapture her lips, “no, come closer,” he pleaded as she turned her face away from him and sucked in deep breaths.

She smiled brilliantly, her hands fisting in the material of his hoodie against his chest, as she tilted her face up to meet his again, staring into his smoldering eyes. This was the reason she’d held on. “Tell me you know,” she begged.

He nodded, “You’re my match,” he agreed, wondering what the hell kind of life he’d been living before this moment.

Her eyes glazed with pain, “why didn’t you contact me? I got the message last week,” she asked.

Desperate to ignore her question, unwilling to shatter her heart yet, Tora fitted his mouth firmly against hers once more, a desperate longing tugging at his heart as a tear slipped from the corner of his eye at the unfairness of it all. He knew no matter how many times he begged this moment to stay, it wouldn’t last. Sooner rather than later, he’d have to make a decision for both of them, the question was simple. Which was more powerful? Fated love; or free will?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for my prolonged absence. Work has been a little insane with COVID. Anyways, enjoy as always, please let me know what you think! ♥
> 
> Songs:  
> Moral of the story by Ashe (Poppy)  
> She Got the Best of Me by Luke Combs (Tora)

**_Two Years Later_ **

Tora sighed and buried his face in the pillow, pulling it tighter to him, desperately trying to hold onto the dream he’d been having. Groaning in disappointment, the hazy colours faded into the background of his mind as he opened his eyes.

A soft hand caressed his shoulder blade gently, “You dream of her again?” Sofia murmured heartbrokenly, thinking of the pretty brunette she’d seen in his photo gallery once.

Rolling onto his back, Tora stared up at the ceiling, “yeah,” he muttered, there was no point in lying. He knew it hurt her but what could he do about it? She knew what she was getting into. “I can’t get away from her,” he grumbled.

The mattress creaked as Sofia sat up and turned away from him, reaching for her robe on the floor. “She’s your genetic match Tora, your mate. You’re just fighting the inevitable wasting your time with me.”

Propping his head up on his hand Tora focused on a crack in the paint on the ceiling, “you’re never a waste of my time and besides, you’re forgetting she’s the one that rejected _me_ ,” he reminded her dejectedly.

Having secured her sash Sofia planted her hands on her hips, “you got enough in life to be miserable about. Besides, from the way Quincey talks about it, it sounds more like you didn’t give her any choice but to reject you,” she argued before the tension seeped out of her shoulders, “Christ, what’s wrong with me? Here I am telling my fuckbuddy to go after his mate; I must be out of my mind.”

A hearty laugh escaped him as his head lulled to the side. Smirking at her, he winked, “I like the selflessness, one of the things that attracts me to ya,” he teased, he lost his smile a moment later as he watched her run her hands up and down her arms, hugging herself softly, her eyes fixed on the dark haired man in the picture on her nightstand. “I told ya, ya don’t have to feel bad Soph, I know I’m just a stand in.”

A sad smile played over her lips as she turned to face him once more, “so am I. that’s why we work handsome, now get outta here,” she insisted, pointing at the door.

Locating his pants Tora did as he was told, “anniversary is next week right? Want me to fuck off till after?” he offered, pulling his shirt over his head.

Shrugging Sophia nodded softly, “yeah, if you don’t mind. I’ll call you when I’m ready to see you again,” she agreed.

Brushing the curly dark hair off her brow, Tora leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “ ‘course. I might even pay him my respects, hard to believe it’s been four years.”

Her gaze drifted back over to the picture frame, the youthful smile of her fated mate brightening the dark cloud around her thoughts. “I think he’d like that, he really looked up to you ya know?”

Grunting in lieu of response, Tora grabbed his wallet off the dresser and stuffed it into his pocket. “Look after yourself Sophia, I’ll see ya soon.”

“I wish you wouldn’t,” she whispered softly from her window a moment later as she watched him drive away. Pressing her forehead against the glass she frowned. Tora was nothing if not stubborn but here he was, wallowing with her when his mate was still alive. “Life is short and he’s _wasting_ it,” she thought bitterly.

~ ~ ~ 

The broken sob escaped her unexpectedly, surprising both herself and her Granny, “I’m so sorry, I just…Granny how did you do it?” Poppy wailed, fat teardrops falling into her tea cup with heavy plunks.

Patricia frowned, the muscles around her mouth tightening, accentuating the wrinkles there. “How did I get over losing your grandfather?” she clarified.

Poppy shook her head in disagreement, “accept being alone?” she replied between harsh breaths. “Every time I see a happy couple I want to be happy for them and then I remember I’m going home to a cold apartment by myself and I just lose it. I hate that part of myself, I feel so pathetic,” getting control of her emotions, Poppy took three deep breaths and pressed on, “five failed relationships in three years; I’m starting to think I’m the problem and not them. I mean what’s the common denominator here?” she reasoned.

The frustration on Granny’s face grew as Poppy continued to put herself down, “two of them left you for their fated mates, the third you rejected,” she pointed out, her glare hard, “and the final two you can hardly call relationships. You never gave either of them a fair chance Poppylan so don’t you dare cry over them.”

Poppy’s eyes widened in surprise at the acid in her Granny’s tone, she rarely spoke to her like this, “Granny, I-”

“I love you more than I will ever be capable of expressing with words and I want you to be happy but young people can be so hard headed sometimes!” Granny snapped, her hands gesturing animatedly over her tea cup. Poppy worried momentarily she might knock it over and stain the living room carpet beneath their feet. “Every relationship you will ever have is doomed child, because you’re _still in one_ with Tora! How is someone supposed to trust you with their heart when you don’t have one to give back to them?” She cried in exasperation.

“We are not having this ridiculous conversation again, you have two choices Poppylan, you go hunt down the man you love and make it work no matter his circumstances,” she paused wondering if her Granddaughter might finally open up and let her know just what these insurmountable differences were she wouldn’t share. When Poppy remained ever silent on the subject, she pressed on, “or you finally let him go. _Really_ let him go and give the next man a real chance with no reservations, no _ghost_ in the room with you, holding you back when he asks for your heart in return.”

Poppy’s nostrils flared in indignation, “Danny told you!” she shouted feeling very betrayed.

Sighing, Granny nodded softly, “she was worried about you, she told me you feel his presence like a ghost haunting you every time you’re trying to get to know someone new,” she confessed.

Fighting to hold onto to anger in the face of the wave of sadness washing over her, Poppy glared at her Grandmother, “Tora’s not an option,” she grit out.

Shrugging, Granny sat back in her armchair and glared right back at her furious granddaughter, “then let him go,” she whispered the ultimatum gently, as though she weren’t asking Poppy to carve out the only reason she felt she still had a heartbeat.

Feeling disgusted with herself; knowing her Granny was right, Poppy set down her half-finished tea and pulled her coat on with stiff purposeful movement, “I’d give anything for another few days with your Grandda,” the heartfelt words stilled Poppy for a second before she stood.

“I know Granny, I’m sorry. I know you don’t understand and from the outside looking in it seems simple and black and white but I assure you it’s not. Tora is…poison…is a very appealing package,” she attempted to explain vaguely before gathering her purse, heading for the door. “I’ll be back next week, take your meds okay. I love you.”

~ ~ ~

Ten minutes from her Granny’s house, Poppy pulled over onto the shoulder of the deserted country road that would lead her back to the highway. Turning off the car she tilt her head back, covered her eyes with her hands and screamed at the top of her lungs. The ensuing quiet deafened her. Placing her hands gently on the steering wheel Poppy stared out at the road ahead of her, thick snowflakes attempting to obscure her vision.

Choices. So many goddamn choices. Go forward? Go back? Find Tora? Let him go? Lie to herself some more? Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. The truth was she’d been losing it for a long time; these quiet moments in her car were becoming disturbingly frequent as she fought the crack in her heart. Crack? Ha! Who was she trying to kid? That little crack had grown into a chasm threatening to swallow all her happiness since she’d walked again from her ‘match’ years ago. Man wasn’t meant to know these things. Fated love! Ha! People were insane. She couldn’t believe how long she’d longed to ‘know’ her match. Things would be so much easier if she’d never met him. Julri, Tora, Malcolm, Gerard and Javier. Choices.

Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead against the wheel and closed her eyes, an annoyed smirk crossing her lips. As if. She’d never had a choice, it’d always been Tora. Even with Julri it’d always been Tora, she just hadn’t known it yet. Oh to be that carefree again. When Tora had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination she’d been able to imagine, to dream. She chuckled to herself as she remembered the ridiculous notion she’d had of him as a skinny redhead working in IT only minutes before she’d met him. _Widely feared, legendary Mafia enforcer and **Tiger** of **Ares Street**_ , she reminded herself. She cocked a brow in bemusement. Yup, murderer for hire and a small town, small time editor, that’s what the universe _thought_ was a divine match?

Sighing she pushed herself back in her seat and stared up at the roof of her car wondering just what the ‘Tiger’ was up to these days. “Nothing legal,” she murmured to herself, turning her engine over as the car sputtered to a start again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get lots done tonight I'll update Ripples too. If not a new chapter for that fic will be up before the end of the week. I've also got a request on the go. As always, enjoy and let me know what you think ♥ Remember, things look bleak now but it's only temporary. 
> 
> Songs:  
> Like I can by Sam Smith (Tora)  
> Starting Over by Niykee Heaton (Poppy)

Fingers strummed the arm rest impatiently as Quincey thumbed through his manuscript one last time. “Can you stop that please, it’s very distracting,” the blonde chided haughtily.

Tora clenched his fist in response for a moment before elongating his fingers, letting them lay against the faded plastic in feigned relaxation. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “just feelin’ a little antsy. Ya sure she’s not gonna be here right?” he asked for the fifth time.

Feeling terrible for his companion, Quincey covered the nervous man’s hand with his own, “I promise you she’s not coming to this meeting. She ended our relationship the same time she did yours. Cut all ties remember?”

Pressing a large hand over his heart, Tora rubbed absentmindedly, “does it hurt?” Quincey whispered.

Shrugging noncommittally he dug his palm in harder, “it’s a weird feeling, it hurts, but not in a bad way, well, not the way you think. It was always like this. Whenever we’re in fifty feet of each other it’s like…soothing? Like being draped in a warm blanket? I don’t know, I’m shit with words…it’s just been a long time since I felt it. Feels good right now but it’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker when we leave,” he explained.

Quincey’s nose wrinkled in disgust, “why?”

Tora smirked at him, “cause this is the best I’ve felt in over a year. It’s like giving a meth addict a hit just big enough to remind them how good the high is only to rip the pipe away. I know she’s in the building, obviously I feel it. Every cell in my body is screaming at me to go find her…” he hung his head, “I hate you for this ya know,” he chuckled self-deprecatingly, “ya really fucked me up Quince.”

Quinceton nodded, his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him, unable to look at his brother, “I thought I was doing the right thing, I never imagined in a million years she’d reject you.” The chuckle that rumbled out of his brother’s chest made him cringe. How the hell could he have predicted the destructive blow he’d levied? He’d meant to bring happiness but all he’d brought was pain, to not only Tora, but multiple members of Balthuman. Vincent had administered a no contact order. Those that did not obey had bounties not only on their heads but those of their fated mates as well. Luckily, Tora and Poppy had fallen apart before Vincent had realized what had happened. 

“And what in the world would make you think she wouldn’t? I’m the goddamn Tiger of Ares Street remember? What the hell do I have to offer any woman other than sex and the thrill of being with a dangerous man? _Especially_ her. Fuck man, ya have any idea how it felt to pop her bubble? She’d been dreaming of a family, a reliable man who would be there with her through everything. Someone she could grow old with. Then the universe decides to match her up with me. In n’ out of jail since I was fourteen, a thug who’s most likely gonna die young. Someone who’s done shit that she’d never even be able to stomach hearing about. How the fuck could I ever expect her to accept that? To willingly sign up for that life? Nah, I don’t blame her for walking away when I laid out all the cards for her and she got the full picture of just who she was tied to.”

Tora buried his face in his hands and leaned forward, elbows on his knees as his mind conjured the look of horror that had crossed her beautiful face when she’d picked up the bloody shoe in his backseat by accident when feeling around for her purse. ‘Tell me this is chocolate,’ she’d begged, the pedestal she’d put him on crumbling before his eyes. He’d fooled himself into believing he could keep that part of himself from her. That it would never touch her. It’d taken three months. Three blissful months and then she’d seen him. The shit about him he wished he could change but couldn’t. The shackles that kept him from being the man he was supposed to be for her. He hadn’t said a word. What the fuck was there to say? ‘Nah sweetheart, that’s exactly what you think it is?’ No, he’d only confessed later, much later, after she’d ignored him for days and demanded honesty. In retrospect, ‘it was blood but it wasn’t me, if it was you’da seen real blood,’ had not been a good way to word his situation.

Quincey placed his manuscript in his lap and folded his hands together over it, “you never say her name,” he commented, unsure what to say to his brother’s speech. Shaking his head, Tora stood and shoved his hands in his pockets, rummaging for his cigarettes, “you can’t smoke in here,” Quincey pointed out.

“Watch me,” Tora challenged, lighting up.

Rolling his eyes, Quincey opened his mouth, “you know who wouldn’t approve of you smoking in here? Pop-”

“Don’t you fuckin’ say it,” Tora growled warningly, his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

The buzzing of Quincey’s cell disrupted the silence between them, “Hello?” he answered a second later.

“Hey, it’s Herida, I’m so so sorry but I got in a fender bender on my way into the office to meet you. I already spoke to Gil and he said he’s sending someone right up to take my place so you don’t have to come back. You shouldn’t have to wait too long,” his editor apologized rapidly.

Quincey smiled despite his annoyance, “of course love, glad you’re ok. Call me tomorrow,” he told her before hanging up abruptly.

Glancing up, he noticed Tora had gone stone still, his gaze fixed down the hall towards the elevator. Quinceton’s eyes widened in horror as realization hit him, the same moment the doors slide open and out stepped the cause of Tora’s never ending anguish.

To her credit, Poppy only faltered in her steps for a second before recovering, she’d expected Quincey but, despite the feeling buzzing in her chest cavity, she hadn’t adequately prepared herself for the sight of Tora. “Gentlemen, it’s been a long time, follow me please,” she greeted them, gesturing to the doorway of a conference room off the hall.

Gathering both his script and his wits, Quincey followed after her as she turned her head to lock eyes with the man that had broken her heart, “I know you think you need them but please put that out. You know you can’t smoke in here,” she admonished, referencing the conversation they’d had in his kitchen almost two years ago when he’d offered to make her kisses his replacement addiction.

“Seein’ ya makes me need it that much more,” Tora informed her boldly, having no intention of extinguishing the only thing keeping the lose threads of his self-restraint from unraveling in that moment.

Closing her eyes to fight off the emotion his words caused her, Poppy nodded curtly once in understanding, before looking him in the eye, “fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

The estranged lovers sat across from each other as Quincey traded his manuscript for the contract Poppy was carrying. Looking back and forth between his companions, his stomach twisted in a most unpleasant manner, “I’m so sorry guys but I think I might be sick, excuse me,” he told them honestly as he exited the room, a hand over his mouth.

Swallowing thickly, Tora stared at her; she looked good, really good, “does it hurt?” he asked softly, wondering if being the one who’d walked away afforded her any kind of exemption from the pain.

She turned wounded eyes on him, “please don’t do this Tora, I don’t want to go there.”

He crossed his arms, holding himself as he slumped back into his seat, his cigarette smoke swirling around him. “Just curious,” he explained stiffly.

Poppy bit her bottom lip, trying to suppress the words on her tongue to no avail; “every goddamn day.” Tora nodded and said nothing. What was there to say?

Quincey re-entered the room a moment later, looking pale and uncomfortable despite the water he’d obviously splashed over his face, “you know what Poppy, I’m just going to sign the contract in my car and fax it to Herida okay? You keep the manuscript,” he explained, gathering the paperwork. Unwilling to face the heartbreak he’d caused or the pain radiating off his friends, Quincey had opted to flee.

Poppy nodded, “if that’s what you think is best, it was nice to see you again Quincey,” she told him from her seat.

“Come on Tora,” Quincey tossed over his shoulder, exiting the room as quickly as he’d arrived.

Tora pushed himself to his feet and rounded the table, pausing in the doorway before turning to give the woman he’d spent the last few years of his life pinning over a last glance. “I feel-” he started before she cut him off, her eyes fixed out the window away from him.

“It doesn’t matter what you feel,” she told him coldly, “it only matters what you choose to do.”

Inhaling harshly, Tora pulled the door closed and locked it, trapping himself in the room with her. Her scathing words snapping what little hold he had left on his emotions. “I can’t live like this Poppylan, it’s killing me, this is too strong, how the fuck am I supposed to fight fate?” he begged, rolling Quincey’s chair closer to her before plopping himself into it as he put out his cigarette against the table.

Poppy’s heart shattered all over again in her chest as he pleaded with her. She shook her head, “and Quincey thinks you’re the stronger one out of the two of us,” she murmured the joke humourlessly. “We don’t need to go over this again Tora.”

His gaze pierced her, looking for any trace of weakness. “Only over the phone, you wouldn’t see me and then you changed your goddamn number. Say it to my face. So I know you mean it,” he challenged.

Glaring at him angrily, Poppy leaned forward and snapped, “I asked you to run away with me. I was willing to give up **_everything_** for you. You told me to accept your life here. To be your dirty little secret. A relationship that could never be public. That would endanger my life and that of those I care about. I can’t do that. I will _never_ do that. No matter how much every molecule in my body hates me for it. You’re a good man Tora, no matter what you say; your actions need to match your character, that’s the only way I’ll ever be with you again.”

It was the same ultimatum she’d given him the last time. An impossibility; one did not just leave Balthuman. The only way out was death. “You’ll never be happy with another man,” Tora argued angrily, “I don’t care who he is, no one will ever love you like I do,” he spat spitefully, furious she was determined to do this to them again despite his plea.

She glared at him furiously, “you think I don’t know that!” she shouted, “you think I don’t feel the wrongness in their kis-”

Lunging forward, Tora took hold of her face and kissed her savagely, deeply, with all the emotion he’d been drowning in the last two years. The passion between them exploded, like a forgotten landmine in the sand, it consumed them, catching them both off guard with its intensity despite the familiarity of the blast. Pulling her to her feet with an arm around her waist, Tora deepened their intimacy, forcing her body tight against his as he tasted the honey of her mouth. Using the fingers threaded through her hair, Tora pulled away from her by a fraction of an inch, his lips brushing hers as he spoke again, “don’t ya see you’re meant for _me_?” he whispered harshly.

Poppy nodded, her heart seizing in her chest every few erratic beats. Being pressed against him this way was flooding her with unwelcome memories, his kiss was the most eroticism she’d felt since she’d walked away from him. She knew what she’d given up, she didn’t need the reminder. Tears flowing over her baby soft cheeks, she nodded again, there was no point in lying, their genomes were more than proof enough she’d been born for him and him for her. “It’s not enough,” she whispered.

He kissed her again, picking her up, he slammed her back into the wall next to the door, his mouth on her neck as his hands roamed her body from muscle memory alone. She didn’t respond, “touch me,” he begged, needing to convince her with the only language he knew he was good at.

Poppy stared up at the ceiling, tears falling from the corners of her eyes, forcing herself to remember the shoe, the guns, the murders he’d confessed to, all the people he’d hurt. Alice’s words from their second date floated through her head, _he’s fragile._ She pushed them to the side, along with his justifications, all the phone calls he’d made those first few months of their separation, begging her to just _accept_ him. To understand that he didn’t enjoy his work, that he toed the line doing no more than what he had to. Swearing that he’d keep her the hell away from that part of his life; promising to protect her against _everything_ including any kind of fall out that might come her way as a result of being with him.

She’d sobbed, believing every word he said, knowing he was capable of all of it and more. It was the ‘and more’ that had made her reject him though. Tora was a strong man, one of the strongest she’d ever met. He was strong enough to walk away from The Balthuman if he chose to; and so she’d told him no. That she couldn’t accept it. So she’d been _stronger_ , hoping choosing for him would force his hand. But it hadn’t. It’d backfired and Tora had picked Balthuman over her. Balling her fists, Poppy fought off the pleasure his mouth on her clavicle and his hands on her neck and her bottom were bringing her. “No,” she whispered, “stop it Tora. This is _desperate_ and not you at all.”

He pulled back and glared at her, “you’re literally destroying us,” he rumbled angrily, “you know rejecting your mate shortens your lifespan,” he pointed out, trying to appeal to her logic since emotion seemed a lost cause. Fuck it all if he didn’t feel like he was dying of a broken heart most days. The stress alone was probably taking years off his life.

She nodded, “so does putting yourself in situations where you’re likely to get shot or stabbed,” she pointed out, refusing to acknowledge how good the unconscious tightening of his fingers felt on her body.

“I DON’T HAVE A FUCKIN’ CHOICE!”

“Yes you do. You always have a choice.”

“No you don’t.”

“That crest on your neck is a choice, _I_ am a _choice_. Our happiness. Is. _Your_. Choice. You know what you have to do to be with me.”

“They’ll kill me.”

“I thought not being with me was killing you?” she commented dryly.

Tora’s face twisted into something ugly, “never realized you and Vince had heartlessness in common,” he spat as he set her on her feet and turned away from her. Wrenching open the door, he stomped through it and down the hall, slamming the door to the stairwell so hard it rattled the doorframe loud enough for her to hear. Crumbling to her knees, Poppy buried her face in her hands and cried. She felt it the moment he left the proximal zone, the empty feeling in her heart making her cry harder.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Let me know what you think! ♥
> 
> Songs:  
> Confidence by X Ambassadors, K.Flay (first half)  
> Sparami by Emis Killa, feat Slmo, Farbi Fibra (club song. The beat on this shit though, everytime it comes on I have to dance :p)

Numb. Completely numb. Stretching her fingers, Poppy tried to force feeling back into them. It was pointless though, they were as numb as her heart. After the pain Tora had inflicted that afternoon the only remedy was to freeze it. Tilting her head back, she stared up at the star speckled sky above her. _Weak_ , her feelings for Tora were just weakness, she was a complete person. She’d spent the last year and nine months reassembling herself from the shattered pieces of the girl Tora had left in his wake. The idealist she’d been was gone, a pragmatic woman emerging from the dust. Her confidence had been rattled today though; she’d spent the last few hours reliving his punishing kiss.

She’d hoped the cold evening air and stroll through the park would clear her head. Pressing her unfeeling fingers to her lips, Poppy shook her head in frustration. Damn him and what he’d done to her resolve. She wasn’t being heartless! She was...sticking up for what she believed in! Why should she compromise? He was a _criminal_ for heaven’s sake and no kiss was going to change that! Renewing her determination to forget Tora, she pulled out her phone and texted Erdene.

_It’s Friday. I’m ready to find another Mr. Wrong. Wanna party?_

~ ~ ~

Tora’s foot pressed down harder against the gas pedal as he peeled around a sharp corner. He was driving too fast for the icy conditions. He’d never been scared of death but he’d never been suicidal either. ‘Cautious’ was a word he’d extricated from his vocabulary after he’d lost Poppy. Gritting his teeth, Tora cranked his music a little louder and rubbed his free hand across his chest. It hurt like a bitch. Reaching for his phone, he punched in Sophia’s number. It rang twice before going to voicemail, “yo, I know ya told me to fuck off till ya were ready but it’s been a week since the anniversary…Can I take ya out? …I…I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Making an illegal U-turn, he headed for Sophia’s apartment despite the lack of response. She’d never turned him down before and he needed something to bolster his confidence. Someone to tell him he mattered. Poppy’s coldness had shaken him, thrown him almost as off balance as her initial rejection.

~ ~ ~

The base pounded from the speakers as Poppy teetered her way across the dance floor, Erdene’s hand in hers. Twisting to the music she enjoyed the way the beat kept time with her heart, rattling her ribcage. Closing her eyes she floated on the heavy downbeats, the lyrics merging with the roar of the crowd around them. The two martinis she’d consumed working their magic on the tension in her body Tora had caused earlier that day.

Holding open his passenger door, Tora helped Sophia out of her seat and walked her into the club, tossing a couple bills towards the bouncer as they cut the line. The wave of music that hit them made him smirk. This was exactly what he needed, to get lost in the crowd, lost in the decibel of the music vibrating off the walls. He needed a night to forget about his circumstances, to forget about Poppy, the cold look in her eyes and the pain in his chest. He didn’t normally dance but Sophia grinding on him wasn’t exactly dancing, which was why he didn’t resist as she pulled him towards the dance floor.

Poppy’s fingers entwined with Erdene’s as the taller girl spun her under her arm. “I’m so glad you texted me!” the violet haired girl shouted.

Nodding, Poppy twisted herself towards the floor, happy to be undulating with the crowd. Between the alcohol and the atmosphere, the pain was beginning to fade, in fact, for the first time all night she was beginning to feel warm.

Tora sighed, a small smile creeping over his lips, Sophia looked good tonight, her short curly black hair was loose and she’d squeezed herself into a red mini dress. When he’d showed up at her door she’d been in a robe and asked for fifteen minutes. She’d worked magic in that short time. She looked almost as good as Poppy had earlier that day. He frowned at the thought; that was wrong; he shouldn’t compare the two of them. They were nothing alike, Sophia was tall and slender in every way Poppy was short and curvy. Her exact opposite in almost every way, he smirked to himself, wondering if he’d initially approached Sophia in an unconscious effort to get as far away from Poppy as possible. “Ya look like a knock out,” he whispered in her ear, feeling the need to say something to make up for his thoughts.

Glancing over her shoulder, Sophia took in his tight black t-shirt and jeans, her gaze lingering on his combat boots that made him a half inch taller. Smiling, she laughed, “I’ll never look as good as you do,” she teased, pressing her body back against him. He wasn’t sure if it was the warmth of her body or the heat in the club but the cold empty feeling in his chest began to ease.

Raising her arms over her head, Poppy body rolled as she wiggled on the dance floor, taking a few steps back from Erdene. Brushing away the hands of random men she whipped her head back and forth to the beat, happy to be in her own world, heedless of those around her.

“Wanna grab us a drink?” Sophia shouted over the music. Nodding, Tora moved away from her and towards the bar, abandoning her on the dance floor. He’d only taken a few steps away when Sophia felt a body bounce off her back. Glancing over her shoulder she smiled warmly at the short young woman thoroughly engaged in the music as her violet haired companion shouted ‘work it girl!’

Deeply amused, Sophia found her enthusiasm contagious and pressed her back against the girl’s, dancing against her. Feeling the press of a body, Poppy smiled when she realized it was a woman. Reaching for her hand, Poppy spun her around and into the small circle Erdene and she had created for themselves. Grinning widely, Erdene stepped forward and sandwiched Sophia between them, the three of them dancing as though they were old friends.

Tora smirked from the bar as his gazed settled on Sophia from a distance. From the swish of the brunette ponytail swinging wildly in front of her, she’d obviously made some new friends. Figuring she was fine on her own, he turned his attention back to the bartender.

“Bathroom!” Erdene shouted, signaling for Poppy to follow her. “Wanna come?” she offered to the black haired beauty with them. Sophia nodded and followed them, she wasn’t worried. The place was crawling with Balthuman and Tora had an uncanny ability for finding people. They’d find their way back to each other eventually.

“Theseeee heels are killing meeee! I need more to drink or a damn band aid for these blisters,” Poppy whined as they pushed their way into the bathroom.

Smirking, Sophia complimented her, “they look hot on you though.”

Poppy beamed at her; grateful for the praise, “they do don’t they?” she preened, strutting around the tiled floor as the other two women giggled at her. “Still hurt though,” she muttered as she struck a pose for her audience.

Sophia lost her smile a moment later, something about the girl was nagging at the recesses of her memory. Cocking her head to the side, Sophia studied the brunette for another long moment before her eyes widened in recognition, horror flooding her. “You okay honey? You look pale,” Erdene inquired, studying her.

“Uh, yeah, sorry I’m okay,” Sophia nodded doing her best to shake off the fact she’d been grinding with Tora’s genetic match. “I’m Sophia, you are?” she asked.

“Erdene,” the violet haired woman offered as she pushed her way into a stall, “little miss tipsy over there is Poppy,” she explained as she shut the door behind her before adding teasingly, “she’s on the hunt for Mr Wrong #6 tonight.”

Poppy’s laughter ended abruptly when she noticed Sophia’s eyes welling with tears, “hey, you okay?” she asked, taking the woman’s hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. “You missing a Mr. Wrong tonight too?”

Sophia shook her head and bit her lip, “Mr. Right actually,” she whispered cryptically.

Narrowing her brows, Poppy clenched the tall woman’s hand tighter nodding her head in agreement, “rough break up?”

Extracting her hand, Sophia wandered over to the counter and leaned against it as she brushed away the tears at the corners of her eyes threatening to demolish her winged eyeliner. “You could say that yeah,” she muttered, “hard to let people go that you care about.”

Poppy smiled in commiseration, “I hear ya, I’m here tonight looking for a stand in for someone I can’t get over.”

“Men ain’t shit!” Erdene piped in from behind her stall door.

“What about Pinky?” Poppy snapped back.

“Men still ain’t shit!” Erdene replied without missing a beat, “but some of them are more tolerable than others,” she teased as Poppy chuckled in amusement, “besides, Pinky and I aren’t end game, we’re just casual,” Erdene explained.

Sophia frowned, “what about you Poppy, do you want end game or just casual?”

Arching a brow at the raven haired beauty beside her, Poppy sighed, the alcohol prompting unabashed honesty, “It doesn’t matter what I want. My man is bad news with a capital ‘B’.”

“Your man!?” Erdene chirped incredulously, exiting her stall.

Rolling her eyes Poppy nodded, “she hasn’t been matched so she doesn’t get it,” she told Sophia before turning her attention back to Erdene, “Doesn’t matter how much I fight it. Tora’s my man till death do us part, even if we’re not together,” she explained.

Sucking in a harsh breath Sophia nodded, she knew as much but hearing Poppy say it out loud made her feel icky, like she was sleeping with another woman’s husband. “Why aren’t you together?” she pressed, needed to hear it from the girl’s own lips.

Poppy sighed, kicking off her heels so she could rub the pad of her foot with one hand, “he’s messed up with the wrong side of the law, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder like he does. I gave him an ultimatum once upon a time and he picked his work over me.”

Releasing her bottom lip from the harsh clamp of her teeth, Sophia ventured cautiously, “you ever think about taking him back?”

Looking up from her blistered foot, Poppy smiled devilishly at the tall woman, “ _think_ about it? Only every. damn. day.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it's done, just editing left. Had to make it 10 chapters, cause, well, reasons. This story is about fate and I like the idea of symbolism a lot. 10 is the completion of a circle. Anyways, it's late, you'll understand my rabbling when you read the last chapter. Enjoy, let me know what you think. I'll post another chapter this weekend. ♥
> 
> Song:  
> Wait No More by Scott Helman (Tora)  
> Worst of You by Maisie Peters (Sophia)

Tora’s gaze scanned the dance floor as he searched for Sophia. It wasn’t uncommon for her to wander off but she was usually pretty easy to pick out of a crowd. Normally he wouldn’t care. Sophia was her own woman and could do whatever the fuck she wanted but her absence gave his mind room to wander to Poppy. Which was a mistake, a dire one that would kill any of the comfort he’d acquired since entering the club. Scowling, he replayed her harsh words, ‘Our happiness is your choice’. It wasn’t though…was it? Could he really leave Balthuman? After she’d changed her number he’d thought she’d eventually cave and call him one night demanding he come back to her. She hadn’t; and then so much time had passed his pride wouldn’t let him beg for her back. Well, not until he’d been confronted with her in person again.

Sighing, he shook his head. He’d wondered about another life. Fantasized about it on her balcony their first date while he held her hand. He glared down at his empty palm. Curling in his fingers, his brows narrowed, it was just a fantasy though…wasn’t it? Vincent would never let him go, his fist clenched unconsciously as the hatful man’s face swam before his vision. ‘You got enough to be miserable about’, Sophia’s words ran through his head. She was right, his life was miserable. He hated Vincent and their fucked up relationship, hated what he made him do, what he’d crafted him into. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tilt his head back to lean against the wall behind him. What was good about his life? The Quincess? He smirked, how many times had Quincey pulled him off the ledge as a kid? The answer was too many. He couldn’t picture his life without him. ‘You deserve your match, love, laughter, happiness!’ Quincey’s voice echoed in his head from the night he’d told him what he’d done.

Tora’s brows narrowed in frustration, his hand tightening on his glass. Would his brother still feel that way if it meant he’d never see him again? Giving up his life for Poppy had never been the problem. The issue had always been Quincey. Poppy hadn’t given him an ultimatum between her or Balthuman. She’d asked him to choose between her or Quincey and that… _that_ was an impossible choice. He smirked in self-deprecation, Quincey’s words springing to mind once more. ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ “Whatever ya say princess,” he muttered, rejecting the sentiment whole heartedly. Poppy had destroyed his world along with the fragile acceptance he’d weaved around his fate. Not being able to have her was just a final kick to the gut after life had jumped him and beat him into the dirt. He opened his eyes, conjured Quincey in his mind’s eye and wondered what expression the man would make if he knew he was the only real thing holding him back from love.

~ ~ ~

Looking up from her blistered foot, Poppy smiled at the tall woman, “ _think_ about it? Only every. damn. day.”

“If you miss him, why don’t you? Take him back, I mean,” Sophia pressed feeling duplicitous.

Poppy laughed, “cause he’d fuck up my whole life.”

“Isn’t love worth it?”

“Not hardly,” Poppy waved her off, slipping her shoes back on. “Love is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. So no, I’m not taking him back.”

Sophia, doing an admirable job of holding back tears murmured, “what if he died and you’d wasted all your time on other men?”

Poppy’s gaze narrowed on the tall willowy woman, her words weighted with the pain of experience, “you lose your match?” she guessed.

Sophia nodded as Poppy grunted in discomfort, she’d never considered Tora actually dying, it just didn’t seem possible. He was too powerful, too in control, too imposing. She’d often teased him about his god like physique, she wondered at what point she’d begun to picture him as immortal too. “I need another drink,” she muttered, ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart as she imagined Tora’s life suddenly being snuffed out, the emotion rendering her deeply disquieted. “Come on, my treat,” she told the other women firmly.

~ ~ ~

Tora lounged against the wall nursing his strawberry juice, ignoring the punk at his side chirping ‘Big Bro’ at him. Sophia was still missing. His gaze narrowed as he finally spotted her coming out of the bathroom. His heart just about stopped when he recognized the violet haired girl next to her. Lowering his gaze by an inch his eyes came to rest on Poppy. The infuriating woman looked sexy as hell in the pink party dress she’d worn to their birthday party two years ago. “Fuck,” he spat unsure whether he should approach or stay glued to the wall.

“I’m gonna need three polar bears!” Erdene shouted to the bartender a moment later, “and a gin and…well something yummy, you pick!” Turning her attention back to her companions, she lost her good mood; both women looked like sticks in the mud. Sophia looked on the verge of an emotional breakdown and Poppy looked a thousand miles away. “Hey,” she shouted, snapping her fingers in front of Poppy’s face, “yo! Space cadet! Earth to Poppylan!”

Shoving Erdene’s hand out of her face Poppy frowned, “yeah! What do you want?” she snapped. Round eyes stared back at her in surprise, “sorry, I just…” she pressed the heel of her palm against her heart, rubbing at it absentmindedly, “I…I don’t feel…” she’d lost the warm feeling she’d had a moment ago. Now it felt like...like... earlier that afternoon? Realization hitting her, her head snapped up as she scanned the crowd as much as she could for him. Cursing her height, she climbed up onto a bar stool on her knees. He couldn’t have cleared the club yet, she’d only lost it a moment ago.

~ ~ ~

Tora took the stairs two at a time out of the club, taking in greedy gulps of the biting cold night air, the chill feeling good on his hot face despite the pain in his chest. Running his fingers through his hair he pushed it away from his face and stomped down the sidewalk towards his car. Fuck he was stupid. No wonder the pain had eased, it wasn’t Sophia, or the music or the fact he was disappearing into a throng of people. No. It was fuckin’ _Poppy_ in his space. “Fuck!” he spat, his fists itching to hit something as he plowed down the sidewalk. It’d been just shy of two years with no contact and then he sees her twice in one goddamn day? Life wasn’t fuckin’ fair. The Kami were laughing at him. Fuck fate. Fuck Quincey for putting him in this position. Life was so much easier before he knew she existed.

At that moment his cellphone began buzzing in his pocket. Good. He could use a distraction; he half hoped it was Vincent, god he wanted to hit something. Hitting someone would definitely be nicer on his knuckles than the brick walls around him. He punched the glowing green button with his thumb. “Tora,” he barked.

“Hey honey,” Quincey ventured cautiously, “I’ve been thinking about you all night since you dropped me off. I think…it’d be good to get away for a while. I feel so awful about today,” he paused and waited for a response. With none forth coming he pressed on, “Really Tora, I’m so sorry. I want to get away, just the two of us. Forget life for a while, forget _her_ ,” he pleaded. 

Sighing, Tora pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t just leave Quincey. You know that,” he replied tersely, consciously choosing to avoid a confrontation about Poppy.

“You came to the Bahamas with me that one time!” Quincey argued.

“With Vincent’s permission, to look for Goliath,” Tora reminded him, resuming his trek to his car.

Quincey huffed and flopped onto his sofa, craning his head back to stare at the ceiling, “what if we just go and instead of asking permission, we just ask for forgiveness later?” he offered.

Pulling open his car door, Tora smirked, “I can’t just run away, he’d send someone after me.”

Quincey’s face scrunched in frustration, “so what? It’s not like Dad has anyone who could actually bring us back. That’s your job.”

Tora frowned, Quinceton had a point, playing fetch usually was his job, “but…”

Quincey frowned when Tora didn’t continue, “oh come on! Live a little, what’s the worst Dad’ll do? Cut me off? Tell you to come home?”

“Send someone to kill me,” Tora told him rather seriously.

Quinceton was silent for a long moment, wondering just how far to push it, “Does it matter? Are you even really living? Since you and Poppy broke up…you’ve just been a shell of yourself, not that anyone ever accused you of being ‘vibrant’ before you met her,” he scoffed.

Tora blinked out at the night in surprise, Quincey wasn’t wrong but…he was…he had a life here didn’t he? A brother? Alice? Sophia? ‘you’re just wasting your time with me’, Sophia’s words reverberated in his head. “That’s a shitty thing to say considering you’re the reason she was ever in my life,” he bit back, annoyed by his brother’s logic.

Tears welled as Quincey sniffed heartbrokenly at the dig, “I know and I’m never going to forgive myself for it, or any of the other lives I ruined. All I wanted was for you to be happy, to feel fulfilled; to have a way to get away from the living hell my Dad’s made your life.” Tora just grunted. What was there to say? “Think about my offer okay? I’m gonna book a ticket in your name for wherever I decide to go. I’m gonna hold off on booking a return ticket. I’ll send you the details, if you change your mind and decide to come with me, just show up. I’ll talk to Dad, say I _ordered_ you to come with me…” Quincey backpedaled rapidly, not wanting to trigger Tora and his servitude to Balthuman, “actually I don’t know what I’ll say… but I’ll handle it okay?” He pleaded.

Tora frowned, “I’ll think about it,” he muttered before hanging up. Cradling his forehead between his thumb and forefinger, Tora leaned his elbow heavily on the shoulder of the driver door. If he was going to run away it wouldn’t be for a fuckin’ luau with Quincey. _It’d be for forever with Poppy._ He’d already turned that down before though, he couldn’t just change his mind now…could he?

Frowning, he pressed the center button on his phone and texted Sophia.

_in the car. sorry. you can stay if you want. i’ll wait here another ten minutes if ya want a ride home._

~ ~ ~

“You should tell her to get down before she falls,” Sophia advised Erdene as the violet haired woman attempted to steady her friend.

“I doubt she’d listen to me,” Erdene explained, watching as Sophia pulled her phone from her purse and read a text, her sad face growing angry.

“Listen, it was really nice to meet you,” Sophia told her as Poppy continued to wobble above them, “I need to get back to someone,” she explained as she moved away from the bar.

“Your shot!” Erdene called after her, shrugging when the woman disappeared into the crowd. _Whatever, more alcohol for me_ , Erdene thought before turning her attention once more to Poppy, “kay Adam Ondra, get down,” she instructed firmly, coaxing her friend off the stool.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Enjoy let me know what you think. Only two chapters left!
> 
> Songs:  
> It's not u it's me by Bea Miller (Sophia & Tora)  
> Stupid by Tate McRae (Poppy)

Shoving her fists through the sleeves of her coat, Sophia stepped out into the night as the pounding bass faded behind her. _What the hell am I doing?_ She thought to herself as she tiptoed across the sidewalk slowly, her brows furrowed in consternation. She wanted to hate Poppy, to be angry at her for throwing Tora away like that. Did she have no idea what she had? Her stomach flopped as she thought about Thomas, her mate, and how it had felt when he was near. So good, leaving him had been impossible, even after he’d explained being together meant risking their lives. Tucking her hands into her pockets, she stopped for a moment, tears welling behind the eyes she’d squeezed shut. She didn’t hate Poppy though, if anything she was jealous. She’d never thought to run away with Thomas. Perhaps if she had, he’d still be alive?

Slowing to a halt, Sophia stared up at the starless sky, her brows narrowing in frustration. She wasn’t sure who she was upset with anymore, Poppy? Tora? Or herself for getting so deeply entangled with a matched man? Clenching her hands into fists, she stomped forward, her mind racing towards the only solution she could think of to alleviate the pain this love triangle was causing her.

~ ~ ~

Sophia yanked open the door of the red Subaru and climbed into the passenger seat. The block and a half she’d walked to meet him serving to bring her frustration to a broil. Crossing her arms, she gazed straight out the windshield, further annoyance brewing within her. “Sorry,” Tora whispered, “I was hoping we’d have a good time tonight.”

She didn’t acknowledge him, “I know you know who she is,” he added, not feeling the need to explain he’d seen her with Poppy.

Sophia was silent for a long moment as she contemplated what she’d learned that night. “She has a valid reason,” she snapped. “Balthuman is the reason Thomas is gone. She doesn’t want to be… _me_ ,” she added bitterly.

Staring out at the city block in front of them Tora nodded and remained silent, unsure what to say. Taking his silence as objection, Sophia stammered angrily, “You’re both s-s-so…infuriating!” Tora’s brows narrowed in frustration as she continued. “Life is finite, either of you could get hit by a bus tomorrow so if you want to be together, then why-”

“I want her,” Tora snapped, cutting her off, “ _she_ won’t have _me_ remember?” he replied calmly, refusing to look at her, well aware Sophia was tearing up now.

Keeping her eyes on the expanse of the night sky ahead of them, Sophia took a deep breath and prepared herself, knowing if she had to look at him she’d never be able to get the words out. “She _does_ want you. She told me so herself. She thinks about being with you every day.”

Tora scowled, “she has a funny fuckin’ way of showin’ it,” he muttered, “besides, I have you,” he argued jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

Sophia felt something snap inside of her at his words, the dam finally breaking on the emotions that had been building for so long, “You know I love you right? Not the way I loved Thomas, but I still _love you_ ,” she expressed for the first time.

Tora cringed under the weight of her confession, “you don’t love me though. Not as anything more than a friend and I know that,” she continued heartbrokenly. “You’re just wasting your time with me so you can avoid making a real decision.” Taking a deep breath, she pressed on, refusing to let herself waver in this. She needed to say it, for herself, for him…she deserved better, all _three_ of them did. “No more place holders Tora.”

Taking another quick inhale, Sophia firmed up her tone, “it’s not _you_ , it’s _me_. I need to move on too. I will never have what I had with Thomas again but I deserve someone who’s not constantly wishing they were with someone else…and you deserve to experience what I had with Thomas…with Poppy.” She smiled, having the words off her chest felt freeing, like she’d finally decided to set aside a burden.

Narrowing his brows in concern Tora turned and stared at her, surprised to find Sophia grinning at him. “If that wasn’t clear; _I’m breaking up with you_ ,” she explained matter of factly, smiling widely at him.

His lips twitched, a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth, happy to hear Sophia sound the most confident he’d heard her since Thomas’ passing. “Ya are eh?”

She was practically beaming at him, her tears drying up, “yeah. Kickin’ ya right to the curb. I’m leaving your ass for _me_ , but I don’t want you blaming yourself. Someone out there is gonna love you, probably a short brunette,” she teased, “but it’s not gonna be me anymore,” she explained, her tone light, her heart feeling even lighter. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this free.

He laughed, a playful grin on his lips, “yeah? You’re the only one ya need eh?” he teased.

She nodded enthusiastically, smirking at him, “I hope you’re not _too_ crushed,” she teased back.

He rolled his eyes, his smile wide, “utterly devastated, don’t know how I’ll ever get over it.”

Laughing, Sophia smacked him affectionately in the arm, “you could at least pretend to be upset,” she chided.

He shrugged and took her hand in his, squeezing it lightly, “how can I be upset when I’m happy for ya?” he told her honestly, “I will miss ya though.”

Sophia’s deep blue eyes twinkled, “I’ll miss you too,” she whispered.

Glancing down at their joined hands, Tora’s face fell, remembering how perfect another’s hand had felt in his. Keeping his gaze down he whispered, “I think I’m gonna disappear.”

Squeezing his hand, Sophia nodded, “I think that’s the best decision you’ve made in years.”

He glanced up at her, a small smile on his lips, “I’ll probably never see you again,” he warned.

Smirking, she nodded, “good,” she told him assertively, “I ever see that handsome face of yours again and I’ll shoot you myself.”

Rolling his eyes, Tora pulled away and slumped into his seat, rubbing his forehead with the back of his thumb, “I’ll never be able to come back,” he pointed out.

“Never,” she agreed.

He frowned, “I’ll never see Quince again,” he said weakly. His own words from that fateful night long ago reverberating in his head, _Love is knowing that your feet carry you to a painful place, and you still go anyway._ Quincey would forgive him right? He was taking his advice after all, he wanted to _live_.

Sophia frowned, convinced he was trying to talk himself out of it, “I doubt that. I’ll explain things to him. Zoom is a thing you know, I doubt Quincey would ever give you up to Vincent.”

Tora turned sad eyes on Sophia, “I gotta go tonight then, before I change my mind.”

Nodding Sophia was already reaching for her door handle, “when they ask me what happened I’ll just say you ditched me once we got to the club.”

Tora grabbed her wrist, stilling her, “I…I do love you Soph. Not the way you hoped but…I’m not vulnerable with many people.”

She just smiled at him, saying, ‘I know’ just didn’t seem appropriate. Leaning forward, Tora clasped the back of her head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You want I should tell her anything?” Sophia offered.

Tora pulled back and thought about it for moment, “yeah actually,” he told her, slipping his ring off his finger, pressing it into her hand. He grimace as he fought off the painful memory of Poppy slipping it off her neck and throwing it at him that day in his car after she found the shoe. “Tell her the ring is her way to me. If she wants me, I’ll meet her there exactly six months from now,” he explained, sitting up in his seat, reaching for the wheel.

Sophia stared at him in confusion, “that makes no sen-”

“She’ll figure it out, I know she will,” he interrupted, “now get outta here Soph, before someone sees ya sitting here with me.”

Nodding, Sophia crawled out of the car and meandered her way back towards the club, a smile forming on her face when she heard his wheels squeal across the pavement behind her.

~ ~ ~

Poppy frowned and knocked back Sophia’s shot, stealing it from Erdene’s hand. “Easy there Tiger. You don't want to get too messed up,” Erdene counselled.

Sighing Poppy tilted her head down towards her shoes, her mask cracking for the first time that night as tears welled. “I kinda do,” she whispered to herself. It’d be nice to have some symmetry in her life, for her mind to be just as messed up as heart was.

Visually assessing her friend, Erdene took in the slump of Poppy’s shoulders and the slight trembling of her whole body. Wrapping her arm around her, she pulled her close and spoke into her ear, “these boys ain’t shit, no one even remotely sexy enough for ya tonight. What do ya say we give up the hunt for Mr Wrong and go demolish a cup of Haagen-Dazs instead?” She offered.

Poppy nodded against her shoulder gratefully as Erdene guided her towards the coat check. Stepping out onto the street a moment later, Poppy gazed up at the sky longingly. “Did you know he carried me half way home the night of our birthday?”

Erdene glanced over at Poppy in concern, “maybe we shouldn’t talk about Tora.”

A flippant hand waved her off, “it’s fine. Besides, if I don’t, I think I’m going to explode.”

“It’s been a long time though,” Erdene pointed out, surprised to see Poppy this upset again after so much time had passed.

“I saw him today,” Poppy explained, reaching down to pop off her heels, the cold concrete easing the pain of her blisters, “he kissed me.”

Erdene sucked in a harsh breath, “I’m pretty sure he was in the club tonight too, I could feel it,” Poppy added, using her free hand to rub at her chest again.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Erdene demanded, rather shocked.

Poppy stopped and gazed up at her sadly, “it doesn’t change anything. He’s still a thug. A criminal. Not for me,” she explained desolately, her voice devoid of emotion, “he’s never going to pick me is he Dene?” she voiced the inner thought pitifully.

Erdene reached for her hand and squeezed it firmly, “it doesn’t matter, you’re fine without him. Seeing him just reopened the wound, it’ll heal over again.”

A cold mocking laugh erupted out of the smaller woman, “what a crock of shit that is,” Poppy replied sarcastically, an underlying sadness in her tone, “I meant what I said to that girl in the bathroom. I can’t get…” she hiccupped as tears erupted, “get through one, damn day without thinking about him!” She cried, “But sure Dene, I’ll only think about him on the weekends…and the week days… in the morning…and the evening… when I wake up, or when I sleep in, that’ll definitely help me get over him,” she explained.

Erdene stared at her in discomfort, unsure what to say. Sighing, Poppy smirked up at her friend, wiping at her tears with her hands, “when that girl asked me how I would feel if Tora died I thought, I’d go to hell and back to find him, to be with him again in another life,” tilting her head towards the sky, she smiled as soft snowflakes kissed her hot cheeks. “I’m fighting fate Dene, and it’s… so hard.”

Unsure what to say, Erdene just stood there flabbergasted by the concession. “I honestly think I’m gonna be miserable and alone forever,” Poppy confessed, stepping forward, ignoring her friend, rooted to the spot behind her.

The clicking of high heels on the pavement caught their attention, “Poppy! Poppy! Please wait!” a female voice cried out from behind them.

Glancing back over her shoulder, Poppy arched a questioning brow at Sophia who was power jogging quickly towards them. Bending over, hands on her knees Sophia panted hard as she gazed up at the small woman in front of her. “Tora, six months, the ring,” she tried to explain between breaths, grabbing Poppy’s hand. Forcing her cold curled fingers open, Sophia pressed Tora’s ring into Poppy’s palm before folding the smaller woman’s hand closed around it again, refusing to give her the opportunity to reject it. When she’d entered the club and been unable to find the girls she’d asked the bouncer if he’d seen them. He’d pointed her in the right direction but she’d been terrified for a moment that she’d lost them along with Tora’s chance at happiness.

“What?” Poppy murmured, her muddled mind trying to make sense of the woman’s words.

Finally catching her breath, Sophia straightened, “Tora,” she began as Poppy stared down at the trinket in her hand in disbelief, it felt like a lifetime had passed since she’d last held it.

“You know Tora?” Poppy demanded, somehow feeling betrayed that Sophia had failed to mention that in the bathroom.

Nodding once, curtly, Sophia pressed on, “he’s a friend yeah, he said if you want him, to meet him in six months. He said ‘the ring will guide you to him’,” with that, Sophia turned to leave; she felt no need to disclose how much he really meant to her. What good would that do other than cause more hurt?

“Wait! What the hell does that _mean_?” Poppy cried.

Pausing, Sophia closed her eyes, the force of which forming intense crowsfeet around her eyes, she reminded herself that Poppy had no idea how hard this was for her despite her underlying relief. “He’s doing what you told him too,” she clarified without turning around, resuming her pace once the last syllable had escaped her lips.

Too stupefied to respond, Poppy stood rooted to the spot with her mouth gapping as the raven haired woman walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Waterloo by ABBA (Poppy)  
> You Can't Take Me by Bryan Adams (Tora)  
> Lose you to love me (Sophia)

A half hour, and a mostly silent walk home later, Poppy and Erdene sat opposite each other at Poppy’s dining room table as they both stared down at Tora’s ring between them. “What do you think she meant by ‘he’s doing what you told him to?’” Erdene asked just above a whisper.

Swallowing thickly, Poppy kept her eyes on the ring as her skin began to goosepimple uncomfortably. “I think he…might be picking me Dene,” she murmured in fright. “I told him earlier today that he knew what he had to do in order to be with me….”

Erdene was silent for a long moment, “how do you feel?” she asked softly.

“Like I’m gonna…” Poppy began before pushing herself to her feet, her hand flying to her mouth as she flew towards the toilet.

Erdene stared coldly at the ring as she listened to Poppy wretch in the other room. She knew what this meant. She was about to lose her best friend. She glanced up when she heard Poppy’s footsteps approaching. “This doesn’t change anything; he’s still going to be on the run forever, what kind of life is that?” Erdene reasoned.

Poppy frowned and resumed her seat, “yeah but he won’t be doing shady stuff anymore,” she murmured.

A delicate brow arched, “stuff, not shit? You sure were swearing a lot tonight,” Erdene teased.

Shrugging Poppy tossed herself back onto the floor and spread her arms out wide, “Alcohol,” she supplied as explanation, “left me for the toilet. Feel like myself again. Situation normal: FUBAR.”

Erdene laughed and slumped herself across the table, her nose a few inches from Tora’s ring. “Do you really miss him that much?” she asked sadly, already knowing the answer.

Poppy laughed humourlessly, “I don’t know how you miss someone when they’re always with you. Tora’s like a ghost, I feel like he’s always watching me. Stupid, but given his occupation I feel like he may have been when we first broke up. Not like in a creepy stalker way but in a, I’m just checkin’ in and because you changed your number I can’t call you anymore so I just drive by sometimes kinda way?” she explained.

Rolling her eyes, Erdene huffed, “So not in a creepy stalker way, just in a normal stalker way because of course it’s normal to trail your ex-girlfriend after she goes as far as to change her number so that she doesn’t have to talk to you anymore.”

Poppy cringed, “well when you put it like that…eh, how do I explain….like, if I go on a date I just feel like I spend the whole time comparing the guy to him, not healthy I know, but I can’t help it. Like my soul and my whole body rejects what my mind says I know I should do. Have you ever felt that conflicted? Like your mind was literally divided from the rest of your being?”

Smirking Erdene nodded, “You know who my Dad is, he had it all planned out, who I was going to be, where I was going to work, how I was going to make him proud. And…well my head was in it. Like, yeah, I was on board, except I wasn’t. Like my heart was all like, noooo girl, dye your hair purple, get a huge tattoo, change your major to design and fuckin’ do what makes you happy. My head was like, but stability and familial relations and fuckin’ societal and cultural expectations you know?”

Poppy frowned and stared up at the ceiling, listening to Erdene’s words. “It was really hard, my Mom forgave me, kinda respects that I carved my own path I guess. Proud I was bold?…I don’t know. My Dad not so much though and that hurts all the time, to know there’s strain on our relationship because I decided to follow my heart. Anyways, I’m prattling on about me when we’re supposed to be discussing whether you’re gonna upend your whole life and follow a dude off into the sunset to be on the run for the rest of your damn life,” she finished, pushing herself up onto her arms so she could stare at her friend lying prostrate on the floor.

Small lines formed between Poppy’s brows as she glared up at the light fixture suddenly furious at it for no reason, its existence and the piercing light it gave off tweaking every single one of her nerves. “Is that really the choice I have to make?”

Erdene’s shoulders moved marginally as she watching Poppy’s chest stop it’s rising and falling action. She wondered momentarily how long it would take the girl to pass out if she didn’t respond. “kinda. Or you could make no choice, let the six months come and go and then the decision gets made for you.”

Poppy hauled herself up in a seated position, “isn’t that the same as not picking him after I told him to give up his whole life for me?” she asked, her eyes fixed on the ring.

“Yup.”

“I told him if he did this I’d be with him,” Poppy clarified.

“Yup.”

“And he’s actually doing it.”

“Yup.”

“So I should go… be with him?” The silence that followed prompted Poppy to shift her eyes away from the ring and onto her friend. “I should go be with him…right?”

Erdene shrugged, “will it make you happy?”

~ ~ ~

Tora held the t-shirt in his hands for a long moment as he glanced around his apartment. Was he seriously doing this? What if Poppy didn’t come? What the fuck was he going to do for work? How the hell was he going to keep them safe? Was six months long enough for Vincent to either lose interest or catch up and murder his ass before Poppy got involved right? His fist clenched tighter on the material, what the fuck did he even know how to do? Wait tables? He supposed he knew how to build shit, Joe had made sure of that, making him stick with his high school construction co-op until he graduated. He scowled; he wasn’t one to whine but doing hard labour… _is better than doing what you’re doing now_. His mind supplied for him, prompting him to stuff the shirt into his duffle.

_So what if she doesn’t come?_ He thought as he locked the apartment door behind him, _this is for you as much as it is for her._ He reasoned. She _would_ come though right? She wasn’t impervious to his kiss, she’d responded at first. She’d said ‘you know what you have to do to be with me,’ that was present tense, which meant the offer still stood right? Also, six months was a decent amount of time to get your shit together. She’d have months to sort out her work and her apartment and the rest of her shit. Not like him, nah, he’d made a decision less than an hour ago, impulsively, and he’d never be able to come back. He smirked as he fired off a text to Quincey and got into his car. Whatever, he’d always been more of a figure it out on the fly kinda guy anyways, after all, his adaptability was what had kept him alive this long.

With every mile that he drove, a sense of liberation filled his chest. He'd never felt freer in his life. Free to run. Free to _choose_. Free to fight for something worthwhile. As the sun rose the next morning, Tora would stop at a gas station for coffee and a cigarette. There, he’d send one final text before ditching his phone.

~ ~ ~

Poppy climbed off her bed and made herself tea to settle her stomach as she rolled around the idea of happiness in her head. Would being with Tora actually make her happy? She’d spent the last two years trying to convince herself being alone was better than being with Tora because she’d have her life. What was her life though? She’d spent the first half admiring two people that had pulled themselves together after they’d lost the loves of their lives, and she’d spent the back half pining for a love of her own. She sighed as she carried her tea back to her bed and stared out at the fat snowflakes as they hit her windowpane against the black backdrop of the night sky.

There was something circular about all this, perhaps it was just the wheel of fate taking her for a ride? Here she was, two years later in the exact same position, wondering this time if she should pull a trigger instead of pressing a button. Erdene had left the previous hour insisting she was not annoyed, Poppy could tell from the aggressive way she’d shoved her arms into the sleeves of her coat that she was though. It should have been a simple question and her hesitancy to answer must have been frustrating... “Will being with Tora make me happy?” she muttered to her reflection in the window.

Well, she certainly wasn’t happy now _without_ him.

Sighing she pulled her knees up to her chest under the blanket. She smirked to herself as she took a sip of her tea, picturing herself as the dog in a meme she enjoyed. She imagined the room on fire around her as she drank her tea, “oh yea,” she giggled, “this is fine.” It wasn’t fine though was it? Things hadn’t been fine since she’d watched Tora fall on his tush and stare up at her in wonder with those amazing eyes of his two winters ago.

Things hadn’t been fine being with him either though. All the secrets, all the half-truths, the strange hours he kept, his moods when he’d show up at her door, eyes wild, agony carved into the bones beneath his skin. When he’d beg her to just let him hold her for a while. It’d been in those quiet moments, before she’d discovered the shoe, that she’d wonder just what he was keeping from her. The truth had been so much worse than anything she’d imagined.

Poppy frowned and turned away from the window, glancing down at the pillow Tora had occupied the last time he’d been in her bed. She tried to picture him there again, tried to remember what it was like to wake up next to him. “Warm,” she murmured jokingly, pressing her cold fingers tighter against her mug. She smiled softly, when he was sleeping, she’d been able to pretend they were a normal couple. When he was asleep, he didn’t have that guarded air about him, or the suspicious glint in his eye anytime she’d tell him about running into strangers.

She scowled, remembering the look of desperation that had crossed his features when she’d demanded he tell her the truth about the shoe. He hadn’t said a word. Just stared right through her as if pleading with her to pretend she’d never noticed it. Shaking him from her head she glanced around her apartment. It was cozy and comfortable and exactly what she’d needed a few years ago when she’d set out to find herself. She’d done that though hadn’t she?

Feeling the need for assistance wading through her muddled state, Poppy set down her tea and reached into her nightstand, pulling out her cards. She wasn’t overly spiritual or religious but Erdene and Jacob had taken her to a hole in the wall shortly after her break up with Tora for a ‘healing crystal’ and she’d been drawn instead to a divination wall stacked high with different decks. She still wasn’t sure what had possessed her to buy her tarot deck that day but she’d found it oddly comforting over the years since.

Shuffling them gently, she smoothed out her comforter in front of her and fanned out her cards in a semi-circle before drawing three. Leaving them face down in front of her, she reached for the first card and flipped it over. The Queen of Swords. _How appropriate_ , she thought with mild amusement. What a fitting card to represent herself, a woman leading with her head over her heart.

She reached for the third and flipped it over, The Emperor in reverse. “So Tora,” she murmured in amusement. The reluctant leader, a man wrestling with authority, control and balancing his own happiness against the powers that be. _Both so powerful and powerless at the same time_ , she thought sadly.

She let her hand hover over the middle card reluctantly. She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know what their dynamic was yet. The last few times she’d done this spread it had been heartbreaking.

Taking a deep breath, she flipped the card. Poppy blinked down at it in surprise before picking it up to inspect it closer. _The two of cups_. Chewing her bottom lip, she bit down hard, the metallic taste spreading over her tongue signalling she wasn’t dreaming. She continued to nibble her lip as she contemplated what this meant. A reunion? A new unity between them? A deepening of their relationship? A freeing, fulfilling, committed, passionate love? Mutual understanding.

Feeling doubtful, she pulled another card. _The Lovers_. A choice made in harmony.

Poppy stared down at the four cards in front of her in amazement. She’d never pulled a spread this positive on her and Tora. Gathering her cards together she shuffled them again, her decision weighing heavily on her mind. _A choice made in harmony with what?_ Fanning them out, she selected one card and drew it towards herself hesitantly before flipping it over.

The Wheel. 

Closing her eyes, Poppy placed the card on Tora’s pilllow with a smirk. Then, she gathered the remaining cards together and tucked them away in her nightstand. She knew the answer to her question. She glanced over at Tora’s ring still positioned in the center of her table and laughed. The kami were clever little minxes weren’t they? “Circular! Ha!” Poppy giggled as she tossed her covers off her and stood to rummage around in her jewelry box for a necklace.

After threading the thin silver chain through his ring, Poppy secured it at the back of her neck before climbing back into bed. Turning off her light she wrapped her hand around Tora’s gift, clutching it against her chest, her eyes glued to her bedfellow. The Wheel. The card of _fate_.

~ ~ ~

Sophia sighed and pulled a long drag on her cigarette as she watched the sunrise from her balcony. It was freezing but she didn’t care. The snow felt good, her cheeks were puffy and red from crying, but the sting of the snow was almost soothing; like Tora’s voice telling her to pull herself back together a few weeks after Thomas’ funeral. No one else had come to check on her. No one else seemed to give a shit. No one but Tora seemed to care that Thomas’ death was her fault. Her fault for matching with him. Well, Quincey’s fault if they were being technical, but her fault for insisting he run around with her in secret despite the threat Vincent had issued. Unlike Poppy, she hadn’t cared what Thomas did, only who he was when he was with her.

No one had ever loved her like Thomas had. Taking another drag of her cigarette, she exhaled out the side of her mouth as she thought of the cute little brunette wobbling in her heels, so unlike Tora. She smiled to herself, Tora deserved to be loved by someone like that. Someone who carved out their life unwaveringly, someone who knew what they wanted and was unwilling to compromise. Someone she kind of wanted to… emulate.

Glancing down at her pocket, she frowned in slight confusion at the vibration. Who would be texting her at this hour? She reached for her phone hesitantly but smiled when she saw the message.

_Tora : I read somewhere once that pleasure of love lasts but a moment, pain of love lasts a lifetime. thanks for convincing me to embrace my moment. i hope ya find pleasure again, I hope you learn to love yourself the way Thomas loved ya. take care of yourself Soph._

Sophia smiled down at the message warmly before slipping her phone back into her coat pocket. Popping her cigarette back into her mouth, Sophia inhaled deeply, her eyes fixed on the horizon and the new day that awaited her.

~ ~ ~

Quincey rolled over in his bed and reached for his phone as he cracked an eye at the screen. It was almost noon and his head was swimming. _Perhaps I shouldn’t have had a third martini in my bath last night_ , he thought to himself as he pressed the unread message from Tora.

_BBTORA: you were right. without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing._ _tell Vince I went with ya. i’m sorry to leave like this. thanks for everything….i’ll miss ya._

Sitting straight up in bed, Quincey blinked down at the message and read it again before jabbing the call button. Pressing the phone to his ear so hard it hurt, his jaw slackened when a robotic voice replied, “We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service. Please hang up and try your call again. This is a recording.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Quincey whispered with a small smile, “he did it.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Sorry I made you wait so long last week was insane for me. Let me know what you think! ♥
> 
> Songs:  
> Black eyes, blue tears by Shania Twain (Sophia)  
> Build a Home by Jeffrey Martin & Dream Come True by Frozen Ghost (Tora)   
> Circles by Wyn Starks (Poppy) - THIS ONE GUYS!!

6 Months Later

With his hands on his hips Tora paced the length of his trailer outside before turning around to pace back the other way. Today. It was today. He was sure of it. He’d marked it on his calendar, he’d been counting down the days and now that it was here…He turned around and paced back the other way, his hands migrating to his head, his fingers laced together. It was eight o’clock. He had time. He glanced over at the trailer, the small home he’d built with his own hands. It was nice. Cute even. He’d crafted everything with her in mind.

Feeling the need to distract himself before heading down the mountain he marched up the three small steps and yanked the door open. Yup. Still clean, bright, green. Sighing he glanced around the space. To his right, an elevated lounge, shelves flanked either side of the stairs, a C shaped sectional tucked into the space, windows surrounding it. He could picture Poppy sitting in the corner with a blanket, a tea steaming next to her on the small window ledge he’d built in, with that purpose in mind. Smirking, he turned his head left, eying the staircase he’d built into the wall leading up to the loft. He hoped it wasn’t too steep for her but he’d built each stair a little higher than normal so he could fit drawers for her clothes underneath. He rested his palm on the polished wood as his eyes wandered across the small space to the galley kitchen. A fridge, a stove, hell he’d even found room for a microwave. She’d have everything a regular kitchen would, they were small but he figured having everything ‘Poppy sized’, as he liked to think of it, wasn’t so bad.

When he’d started construction he’d debated what to do with the kitchen. Then visions of her making him dinner when he’d been sick, and when he’d visited her apartment had fucked with his head. Remembering the flavours of her cooking on his tongue, he’d spent the next two months trying to craft a kitchen she’d feel comfortable in. Hell he’d even redesigned the layout so that she’d have a view from the sink, lowering the window for her. His view sucked, hers would be perfect though. He glanced at the rolling door next to the fridge. He’d sprung for nice fixtures and tile in the shower. He didn’t have room for a tub but the shower was nice and big enough for him so she’d be comfortable. Tora glanced up at the loft and the tv attached to the ceiling. He’d put it on a swivel so they could watch from bed or from the sectional.

He smiled softly to himself at the railing that hid their bed from view. He’d planted English Ivy in rail baskets the length of it. A wall of green sheltering a queen sized bed, a book cove and vaulted skylight so they could watch the stars from bed. He’d wanted her to feel like she was in a tree, considering how much she seemed to like being up them.

He frowned, wondering for the first time if buying copies of her favourite books for the cove and the new Totoro stuffy sitting in the middle of the bed was taking things too far. He bit his lip, now feeling anxious about the sweets and the tea in the cupboard he’d bought for her just last week. _She would come…wouldn’t she?_

His anxiety escalated as his eyes darted everywhere from the small succulent plant in the kitchen window he’d thought he’d killed at least four times, to the pillows with silly sayings on them he’d thrown on the sectional. If she didn’t come he couldn’t live here anymore. The whole place was an unfulfilled promise. The only decisions he’d made on this house with himself in mind was the size of the shower, the gaming system he’d attached to the tv and the mount on the wall next to the door for his guitar so he’d have something to do while Poppy read next to him on the sectional. Sighing, he exhaled consciously relaxing his shoulders. He’d made his choice. She’d either be there, or she wouldn’t. Either way _he was free_. If she didn’t come, he’d sell this place and start over. Make something for himself. Carve out his own path...without her?

He clutched his chest at the painful idea. From what he understood though despite how agonizing it might seem, Sophia had done it. He had called Quincey three times since he’d left. According to him, she’d up and left, just fucked right off. Packed up her apartment and ditched the same way he had. He hoped wherever she was, she was happy.

With that in mind, he stepped out into the warm night air and locked the door behind him. The walk would take him an hour. _An hour_. His nerves crackled beneath his skin. For better or for worse, his waiting was almost at an end.

Moonbright

Sophia smiled and took a small drag of her cigarette as she pushed herself lightly with the tips of her toes, enjoying the sway of the porch swing. It was a beautiful night; the humidity had finally dissipated leaving a soothing dry warmth in its wake. She glanced out at the quiet street, enjoying the quaintness. She’d never pictured herself in a place like this. She liked it. So unlike the unforgiving streets she was used to. She hadn’t had a plan when she’d left, all she’d wanted was to keep the freedom she’d felt the night Tora had left, alive. So far, the main floor of the duplex she rented and the job at the grocery store down the street were doing it.

Breathing deeply of the fresh air she smiled and waved at a couple she recognized from the store as they walked by hand in hand. Her smile grew as her good mood continued, signalling the thing she was most proud of since Tora’s departure. She felt whole. Despite the sadness she felt for what could have been when she thought of Thomas, she was proud of herself.

She’d internalized Tora’s advice. Instead of waiting for the next guy to come along, she’d taken every part of herself she’d been willing to give to another and gave it to herself instead. Every ounce of patience, courage, support and love she’d held bottled up for so long. As a result, for the first time in her life, she was genuinely happy. If another man came along; great. If he didn’t, she didn’t really care anymore. She’d spent too many years living on her knees at the mercy of whatever man decided to flit in and out of her life. Now that she was standing on her own two feet, she couldn’t imagine going backwards.

Sighing in contentment, Sophia gave herself another push and drew up her feet onto the bench, wrapping her arms around her knees in a small hug. Life was good.

Regina’s Peak

Poppy sat on the edge of the pavilion, her legs dangling over the ledge, her shoes resting beside her. She smiled as she watched the lights of the city dance below her. It was so warm she’d opted to wear a dress. A yellow one she’d always loved. The bright neckline making the silver of Tora’s ring seem to glow as it dangled loosely around her neck.

It’d taken her a few days to ponder out what he’d meant by ‘the ring will guide you to me’. Who knew he was so romantic? This was where he’d taken her the night he’d given her his ring the first time. He’d brought them full circle. _Circles_. The Wheel of Destiny. She chuckled as she reached up and wound her fingers around the ring to fiddle with it, wondering how much fate had played a part in her decision to go to the park the night they’d met. She smiled wider as the warmth of his presence began to fill her chest cavity. Finally, he’d arrived.

“You’re missin’ your safety rope,” a deep voice teased from a few feet behind her a moment later.

Smiling, Poppy kept her eyes on the sky in front of her, “what do I need one for if you’re always there to catch me?” she teased, referring to the night he’d caught her from a tree when she’d hastily crawled up it halfway through their date to rescue a cat. He’d teased her mercilessly about it.

Smirking, Tora sat down beside her, “I hope ya haven’t been waiting too long,” he murmured.

Turning to look at him, Poppy smiled warmly, “you just said six months, you never said a time. I’ve been here for hours, even watched the sunset, I didn’t want to miss you. I should have known it’d be after dark though. You only ever came to take me places at night,” she teased.

Returning her smile, Tora thread his fingers together in his lap, his forearms on his thighs, “you’re comin’ with me then?” he clarified, his eyes fixed on his ring dangling just above her cleavage, his heart in his throat as he waited for her reply.

Poppy nodded, “yeah, I moved out of my apartment a week ago, spent the last few days with Granny to say goodbye. Worked it all out with Gil. As long as I have a laptop and internet access, I have a job. How have you been though?”

Tora shrugged, “hasn’t been all bad. Picked up work under the table here and there. Used the money I had to build a house. Been thinkin’ about ya a lot.” He explained leaving out the unfortunate confrontation he’d had with a hitman Vincent had sent after him around the three month mark. He’d sworn it was the last body he’d be responsible for putting in the ground.

“A house?” Poppy inquired in surprise.

Tora chuckled self-deprecatingly, “don’t go gettin’ excited, it’s one of those tiny homes, on wheels. Parked it just a bit further up the mountain, so I – _we_ – can keep movin’ around.”

Cocking a brow Poppy glanced up at him, “a tiny home? Tora you’re 6’3”,” she stated sceptically, thoroughly pleased with how at ease she felt with him. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting but her anxiety about it was alleviated. It felt as though they were picking up right where they’d left off. Being with him had always been the most natural thing in the world, she was glad it still was.

He shrugged, “it’s not that bad, reminds me of your apartment a little, even filled it with plants,” he teased.

Poppy laughed out loud at that, “oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, staring deeply into her eyes, the warmth in his chest overwhelming him.

Poppy sucked in a harsh breath, the intensity of his emotions reflecting back at her almost too much to process. “Tora?” She whispered.

Ducking his head, Tora pressed a light kiss to her lips, just enough to taste her, the softness of her petal lips brushing against his. “I was scared ya wouldn’t come,” he whispered. “Ya got no idea what it felt like to see ya sitting here like this waitin’ for me.”

Reaching for him, Poppy pulled him into a fierce hug, “I’ve missed you,” she whispered harshly into his ear.

He pulled back just enough to fit his mouth over hers as he embraced her back passionately, enjoying the heat building between them.

“Tora,” Poppy gasped a moment later between soft, sweet kisses.

“Mmm,” he grunted in response, drawing her bottom lip between his own.

“Don’t we have to go?” she murmured.

He nodded and pressed his forehead against hers, “yes.” Reluctantly, he drew himself to his feet and reached down to help her up. Slipping her hand delicately into his, Tora smiled at the contact, taking the opportunity to lace their fingers together as she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse.

“How ya get that up here?” Tora asked incredulously as he glanced over at the large rolling suitcase by one of the beams he’d missed earlier in his excitement to see her.

Poppy smirked, “Quincey, he made Gyu drive us up here. He’d hoped to see you but he had a rendez-vous he had to get to.” Tugging on his arm, she pulled him down and planted a kiss on his cheek, “that’s from him, he cried when he realized you wouldn’t make it in time. He really misses you.”

Tora smiled softly down at her and gave her hand a small squeeze. “I know, he tells me every time we talk.” Taking hold of the handle of her luggage with his free hand, Tora tugged her towards the back of the pavilion and the road up the slope. “We’ll stay on the mountain tonight, leave in the morning?” he offered.

Poppy nodded, still feeling odd about their reunion, it felt so comfortable, so _anticlimactic_. Where were the passionate fireworks she’d been dreaming about? Where was the man that had jumped her in her office all those months ago? Sure he’d kissed her but it didn’t feel like a bomb going off the way it had the last time. No, these kisses had felt like the warmth in her chest, inviting, comforting, replenishing, but not devastatingly emotional. They walked in silence for a long while, Poppy mulling over her thoughts, her small hand tucked securely in his grasp. “Tora?”

“Mhm,” he grunted, his gaze straight ahead, his heart thundering in his chest, unsure what to say. He’d dreamed for so long about all the possible ways their reunion might play out, now that it had finally arrived, he had no idea what to do. He just needed her to see the house, to understand she’d been at the forefront of his mind since the day he’d left. He could never explain to her in words what this future she’d chosen with him actually meant to him on a soul level.

“Is everything okay?” She asked hesitantly, her other hand coming to clasp his forearm as she gazed up at his profile.

He blinked in surprise and glanced down at her, “more than. Just-” He paused, trying to find the words, “just trying to convince myself this is really happenin’,” he commented, squeezing her hand.

Frowning, Poppy kicked a stone ahead of her, “I’m not going to disappear on you again.”

Nodding, Tora grinned as the light from the house came into view up ahead, “look,” he prompted, encouraging her to lift her head.

Tora pulled her to the door and held it open for her, stepping in after her. Poppy gasped as she glanced around the cozy space, her fingers fluttering over items as she wandered the floor. “Tora – this is – beautiful,” she murmured.

 _Not as beautiful as you,_ he thought, his words stuck in his throat as he watched her poke her head in the cupboards and beyond the bathroom door. It was hard to believe she was finally here, finally his, that they were finally together with no looming threat. She came to a stop in front of him, “Tora?”

He glanced down at her, “yeah?”

“Why?” she asked, her eyes wide with awe.

He shrugged uncomfortably, “Cause I’m in love with ya and it made me want to build ya a home? So ya’d be comfortable despite the fact I can’t offer ya much,” he explained, his hand rising to rub at the back of his head sheepishly.

Poppy’s eyes filled with tears as she fisted her hands in his collar and dragged him down towards her as she rose on her tippy-toes. Their lips met in frenzy as he backed her up against the closest wall, his hands on her body as his mouth devoured hers. She mewled against him as she arched her back, craning her head to the side as his tongue slid the length of her neck, sending shudders down her spin. “Toraaa,” she moaned as he nipped her gently.

“Mmmm,” Tora grunted as he rocked his pelvis against hers, his hands sliding up her thighs beneath her dress as his lips caressed her collarbone. Feeling the creamy softness of her skin, Tora shuddered and closed his eyes against the passion her assertive act of desire had unleashed. Reigning himself in, he pressed his forehead against her shoulder, panting raggedly. He needed to stop; he didn’t want to take her against the wall like an animal. He wanted to take her up to the loft, strip her and worship every inch of her body. _Slowly_. Later. _All night_ , he promised himself as a consolation for his good behaviour.

Biting down on his lip to suppress the whine of desire threatening to escape him, he set her back down on her feet as gently as possible. “Tora?” Poppy whined, staring up at him pleadingly, her hands on his biceps as she realized what he was doing.

He smiled down at her, pleased their desire was mutual this time. “Later Bobby, there will be plenty of time for that _after_ ,” he murmured reassuringly as much to himself as to her, stepping away from her to pick up the suitcase off the floor before setting it on the sectional, unzipping it.

Poppy watched his back for a moment and then glanced up the stairs. Was he seriously going to unpack her bag? “Tora, can’t that wait?” she murmured, unsure of herself.

Arching a brow, he turned and shot her a quizzical look, “don’t ya wanna get settled?”

She pressed her lips together in contemplation, “well, yeah but _later_. Right now…I,” she paused and glanced meaningfully up at the loft.

Following her gaze, both Tora’s brows rose in amusement and then lowered as he smirked at her, “nice to know ya want me again,” he teased.

Hurumphing in exasperation, Poppy crossed her arms and glared at him, “well don’t you want _me_?”

Losing his smirk, Tora’s eyes filled with emotion as he reached for her hand and pulled her up into the lounge to sit with him, settling her onto his lap as her arms wrapped around his neck. “Poppylan, you’re the only thing I’ve really wanted since the moment I first saw ya. Don’t doubt that for a second,” he reassured her, lacing their fingers together as he held one of her hands, drawing it up to his face to cradle her palm against his cheek. “I’ve missed ya, more than ya know.”

Frowning, Poppy snuggled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder, her face in his neck, “then why-”

“Why aren’t I dragging ya up there to prove it?” he teased, tilting his chin towards the loft. He grinned as he felt her cheek heat against his neck. “Listen, this probably won’t come out right but just hear me out,” he paused long enough for her to nod, “the best part of being together, for me anyways, isn’t touchin’ ya, it’s just _being_ with ya. It’s the way ya…make me…feel…here,” he explained bringing her hand to his chest. “Nothin’ and no one makes me **_feel_** like you do.” He confessed, as her eyes softened and began to tear up.

“I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed ya but it’s been so long and I’ve been day dreamin’ about seeing ya here, **_home_** , in this space for….” He sighed, “I definitely want to but I just, I wanna get ya unpacked, have dinner with ya, talk to ya, hold ya, just **_be_** with ya first,” he chuckled, “Hard to feel like my dream has come true, that you’re here for good, when there’s a giant suitcase in the middle of the room,” he teased.

“Tora,” she whispered raggedly, his words moving her.

“I want a do over Bobby, I wanna do everything right this time, in the right order for ya, no secrets, no disappearing acts, no rushing into bed. What do ya say Bobby? Can we do that? Can we turn back the clock and go back to the beginning?” he begged softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

Poppy smirked, _another circle, back to the beginning_ , she thought in amusement, “there’s no need Tora, I love you, and that’s the beginning, and the end, of everything.”

Pulling back, Tora gazed at her in confusion. “Here,” Poppy said, reaching into her purse, pulling out a small paperback. He watched as she freed the card she’d been using as a bookmark and handed it to him.

Tora blinked down in confusion at the strange looking playing card Poppy had just pressed into his hand. He studied it for a long moment, surprised to find his name spelled out around the circle in the center of it. “What’s this?” he murmured.

Poppy smiled as she pushed herself to her feet, already moving to unpack. “ _You_. My fate. The wheel of destiny. My end, my beginning, my middle, my _everything._ ”

Setting the card on the cushion next to him, Tora watched her back for a moment as she began removing items from the bag, the small act bolstering his confidence. “Ya really don’t care where we start?” he murmured softly, his heart hammering against his ribs as he enjoyed the warmth her presence filled him with.

She glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled, “nope, that’s the beauty of a circle, no matter where you start, you always wind up in the same place in the end,” she teased.

Reaching out he pulled her back into his lap, capturing her face with his hands, “then on second thought, ya can unpack later, no sense fighting the inevitable,” he teased before sealing his mouth over hers passionately.

_**The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, it's done. :) Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for sticking around. I'll be posting a request later this week to make up for no post last week.


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